Americanized Lent

Last year, I was asked to lead the Ash Wednesday service at the church I was working at. I had just joined the church staff as the Connection Pastor, and my first reaction was that this was just an opportunity to get myself "up front" and get a little more recognition in the eyes of a congregation that really didn't know me yet. I mean what better way to acquaint myself with the church than to put on my preacher "hat" and "perform" for everyone, right? But as I began to put my message together, I began to see that there was much more going on than just leading a church service.  I began to feel some anxiety and stress over what this time of year was all about, or show be about.

I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church, so Ash Wednesday was a big day in the church year. The annual kickoff to the season of Lent! The Christian Day of Atonement! The magical day when all good Christians purge themselves of the debauchery and hedonism that has crept into their lives; especially after Mardi Gras! Mostly I remember classes being cut short so that we could attend Ash Wednesday Mass, and the subsequent embarrassment of walking around all day with "dirt" on my forehead. When I got home from school, my mom was always quick to remind me not to wash the ashes off until bedtime, but was more lenient once I started to develop acne. Those oily ashes can reek havoc on a teenage forehead, right?

But when I look back, to me Ash Wednesday was simply a strict religious observance and nothing more. I had no idea why I was called to observed the day, and had no clue what the ashes were supposed to symbolize in terms of my faith. I was a faithful Catholic and believed in God, but in terms of dedication, giving up meat on Friday was about as far as I would go. Have you noticed all the fast food restaurants pushing the fish on their menus lately?  Think I'll get a fish sandwich for lunch today.

But is observing lent more than just something up? Is it more than marathon prayer meetings, fasting, reading scripture and other "religious" activities? Is there more to Ash Wednesday? Is there more to observing Lent? I think there is, but I think that most of us don't what to think about it, because Lent has to do with a nasty word. OK, now I'm going whisper it so that no one else hears. Ready? "Sin". Gasp! There I said it!  I know!  No one likes to talk about it, right?  But we're all screwed up so let's just through it out there.

Because when you get right down to it, Lent is about sin. It's about looking back and reflecting over the last year and coming face to face with the garbage that has infected our lives. It's about taking stock of our walk with Christ, and meditating on the areas that we have fallen short. And as we enter these 40 days, it's a time to prepare ourselves for Easter. A time of the year that we stop and remember that our Christian faith revolves around the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and nothing more.

It's not about looking more "holy" because you have ashes on your forehead. It's not about fasting so that all your friends can see how dedicated you are. It's not about piously praying several times a day so that those you work with can witness your awesome dedication to God. And I've got news for you; it's not about sacrifice.

When we think of Lent, we automatically think of giving up something, right? We give up sweets, coffee, smoking, technology, drinking, sex (no way!), anger, meat, cussing, etc...etc...etc.  And although sacrifice is part of the lent, I think it has become a distraction from what what we are really called to as followers of Christ. We live in a culture, and are even part of a Church, that find it politically incorrect to talk about sin. We don't like to confess sin to one another, because that makes us "bad" Christians. We don't like to hold someone accountable for sin, because that would be judging. Let's face it, in today's church, sin is offensive. It's become intolerant to even mention sin for fear that others might think we're religious zealots.

I'm not asking us to judge one another. I'm not advocating self-righteousness. I'm not even asking us to feel bad about our faults and failures. Like I said, we're all screwed up to some extent, and those of you that know me know that I'm up there with the worst of them.  I guess what I'm getting at is that maybe it's time to observe Lent for what it is: a time of repentance. Repentance is a good thing when you think about it. It's not about an angry person on the street corner screaming, "REPENT!"  It's not about doom and gloom.  It's about lovingly calling each other to turn from our sins and turn back to God.  It's about saying to those we love, "Repent!  Please!  Because I love you and see what a freaking mess your life is!  And my life is a mess too!  Help me!  Let's get our lives together!"

So, repent, my friends! And do me a favor.  Tell me to repent as well, especially when I fall short. Because I will again and again.  I promise.  Because I'm a mess.

Remorse vs Godly Sorrow

As addicts we sometimes confuse remorse with sorrow. Because sex addiction includes activities that are kept secret, often times guilty feelings and remorse only come about when we've been caught. Many of us grew up in a shame based environment and because of that, shame is usually felt even before guilt or remorse. But we must go beyond these feelings to get to true healing.

Once our sexual sins are exposed, our lives will never be the same. We may have lost our job, our home, maybe even our family. Family members who have been hurt by our sexual sin may turn from us even when we try to make amends. We may tell them we are sorry, but that doesn't mean we have changed. In the bible, God did not respond to the people when they were sorry for their wrong. He only responded when their remorse led to a change in their hearts and behavior.

We must take a sincere and honest look at ourselves. The sin in our heart that causes the outward behavior must be exposed. Any secret sin kept hidden will continue to hold power over us. When we finally expose our sinful hearts to the Light of God's healing Spirit and Power He will reveal to us our inner wickedness. Only then can He heal our hearts, minds and soul. Then we will experience true godly sorrow, not just worldly remorse.

David spoke from a truly repentant heart when he wrote:

Have mercy on me, O God because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sins. For I recognize my shameful deeds--they haunt me day and night. Against you, and you alone have I sinned. ...Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me...Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise.-- Psalm 51:1-4; 10, 12, 17 NLT

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