ELDR gets sex right!

Len, age 80, says of his loving relationship with Joyce and their ability to talk openly about sex, "I've been enlightened. I don't need to feel bashful about asking for something that makes me feel good. This is a gift from the gods."

You've got to read Amelia Glynn's article Love After Sixty, which appears this month in both the print and online ELDR* magazine. The photos in the print edition from Kc Gunn are fabulous (a few are also online, such as these reprinted on this post). The article presents several elder love stories and discusses how sex is (and is not) different once we pass the 60 milestone. Authors Jane Juska, Joani Blank, Betty Dodson, and yours truly weigh in on the subject, along with Cynthia Mort (creator/producer of HBO's Tell Me You Love Me) and several sex experts.

It's refreshing to read about and see photos of real-life 60+ people who are frank about their sex lives. Kudos for ELDR for having the courage and the conviction to publish this article and the photos.

*October 2009 update: It is with great regret that I have asked ELDR.com to remove all my content from its website. If you've been there lately, you'll see the comments have been overrun by spam. Unfortunately, this high-quality publication and website fell victim to inadequate funding, and although past content remains, the site isn't being maintained. I hope ELDR readers will continue to come here for news and views about sex & aging.

Elder sex on HBO's Tell Me You Love Me

Are you watching Tell Me You Love Me on HBO? As I've written before, I'm thrilled by the show's portrayal of elder sex (Jane Alexander and David Selby). In the latest episode, the couple in their seventies had face-nuzzling, tender, slow sex in a chair (we know the husband has a bad back -- a nice, realistic touch! -- and maybe that's a comfortable position for him), and she had what might be television's first elder female orgasm.

After all I've written and ranted about the media never portraying an older couple having joyful, affectionate sex (without treating it as ludicrous and icky), I'm happily eating my words. Thank you, HBO.

I'm finding the age angle of the show so interesting! The older couple is the only one having gentle, loving, uncomplicated sex, while the youngest are so driven and -- it seems -- angry that the guy never even gets his pants past his ankles. At least Jamie (the young woman) stops long enough to reach for a condom!

HBO Tell Me You Love Me is Senior-Sex Positive!

Tell Me You Love Me has the media abuzz this week, mainly because the new HBO series bares it all with graphic sex. I'm applauding because -- at least in episode #1 -- it shows the most positive portrayal of seniors in love and having good sex that I've seen on television.

As an advocate for older-age sexuality, I'm thrilled by the portrayal of the older couple, therapist Dr. May Foster (Jane Alexander) and her husband Arthur (David Selby). Both are handsome people, but realistically handsome, without Botox-paralyzed facial muscles or taut facelifted cheekbones. These are real people, beautiful specimens of age 60+, to be sure, but so much more realistic than the aged (and not so aged) Hollywood and TV stars whose faces barely move. How refreshing!

The younger couples in the show are frenetic in their dialogue and sex play, while the oldest couple is gentle, knowing, connecting in a special way, both sexually and in daily life. When Alexander gently removes Selby's book from his hands and edges down his body to arouse him with oral sex, I cheered.

I hope the writers don't mess with this positive message that sex and relationships get better with age.

Did you see this show? How do you feel about it?

Added 9/18/07: Now that I've watched three episodes, I'm disappointed in this show. I still love that the 60+-yr-old therapist and her husband have such a loving and sexy relationship, but the other couples are so strident and unpleasant (especially to each other!) that I feel let down by the writers. They have problems in their relationships, we got the point -- do we have to keep reliving this with them without any progress?