Podcast: Sex & Intimacy, Senior Style

Hear life coach Chip August interview me for his Sex & Intimacy podcast series on Personal Life Media. We chatted about senior sex, what it was like to write Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (especially for Robert, an artist and a private person, who found himself negotiating which details about our sex life would appear on the printed page), and helpful tips for a better sex life at our age.

We discussed, for example, that an older women's lack of lubrication does not mean she isn't sexual aroused, and how applying lubricant can bring back the joy of friction and become part of the love play. I tell men "what we women really want" (listen up, guys!) and why sex toys can take us over the top.

Chip August is a marvelous interviewer -- lively, informed, sex-positive, and smart. Do listen to the podcast, which you can hear online or find on iTunes.

How has your idea changed of what sex is?

I was interviewed by Audacia Ray for her Naked City column for the Village Voice online. Audacia asked me, "How has your idea of what 'sex' is changed over your lifetime?"

Here's what I answered:

In my teens and early twenties, I was trying to shed the restrictions I had been taught by family and society about sex being bad until a wedding band somehow transformed it, so sex was rebellion. Although I willingly shed my virginity at 17, I didn’t have an orgasm until two years later. Being a child of the 1950’s, I didn’t even know what/where my clitoris was or what made it work, until a more experienced college boy showed me. I haven’t stopped enjoying it since!

From my mid-twenties to early-thirties, sex was both an expression of love and an exploration of what turned me on. I was in two committed relationships (serially) during that time, and I loved the high and the bonding of sex.

In my mid-thirties and through my forties, sex was the Big O: orgasm, as frequently as possible. I was in a love relationship for part of that time which was sometimes exclusive and sometimes open, and after that broke up, I went a bit crazy with the excitement of multiple partners. This was my real coming of age, sexually. I discovered the glory of powerful orgasms, whether alone or with a partner (or series of partners), filling my drawers with vibrators and my datebook with eager men.

During all this time, my hormonal, biological urge was propelling my sex drive. After menopause, all this shifted.

I was a post-menopausal single woman, needing lubricant, taking longer to get aroused and reach orgasm, and as eager as I was to keep my sex life going, often I felt invisible to potential partners. I still felt youthful and vibrant in my mind (still do, at 64!), but my face started showing my age, and boom, men were no longer interested. It was amazing to me, really.

Then at age 57, I fell in love with Robert, who was then 64. Our love affair was the reason I wrote my book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. My sex drive was no longer hormonally driven. Rather, it was driving by love, the yearning to bond deeply, and a deep commitment to my lover’s pleasure as much as (sometimes more than) my own. We married when I was 62, he 69. Ours has been the great love of both our lives. It has also been the best sex, because joining together is a culmination of everything we’ve experienced in our lives as well as our deep love for each other. It’s spiritual as well as physical.

How would YOU answer the question, "How has your idea of what 'sex' is changed over your lifetime?"

For the rest of the interview, please click here.

Listen to Joan's podcast

I was honored to be invited to be a part of the marvelous Seal Press "By Women For Women" podcasts, presenting interviews with Seal authors. Please click here to listen to the podcast, where I discuss some lively strategies for keeping sex spicy and satisfying.

After you listen, I hope you'll comment here and share what you think.

The podcast mentions a free download of a nicely formatted, print-worthy .PDF of my Tips for Hot Sex After Sixty. To receive the Tips, please email me with your request and I'll send the tips to you as a .pdf attachment.

ELDR gets sex right!

Len, age 80, says of his loving relationship with Joyce and their ability to talk openly about sex, "I've been enlightened. I don't need to feel bashful about asking for something that makes me feel good. This is a gift from the gods."

You've got to read Amelia Glynn's article Love After Sixty, which appears this month in both the print and online ELDR* magazine. The photos in the print edition from Kc Gunn are fabulous (a few are also online, such as these reprinted on this post). The article presents several elder love stories and discusses how sex is (and is not) different once we pass the 60 milestone. Authors Jane Juska, Joani Blank, Betty Dodson, and yours truly weigh in on the subject, along with Cynthia Mort (creator/producer of HBO's Tell Me You Love Me) and several sex experts.

It's refreshing to read about and see photos of real-life 60+ people who are frank about their sex lives. Kudos for ELDR for having the courage and the conviction to publish this article and the photos.

*October 2009 update: It is with great regret that I have asked ELDR.com to remove all my content from its website. If you've been there lately, you'll see the comments have been overrun by spam. Unfortunately, this high-quality publication and website fell victim to inadequate funding, and although past content remains, the site isn't being maintained. I hope ELDR readers will continue to come here for news and views about sex & aging.

What Boomers Want in the Bedroom

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Julie Taylor for Baby Boomer Love: What Baby Boomers Want in the Bedroom for Match.com/AOL Personals.

Julie polled "experts and seasoned daters to discover the top three things men and women over 50 desire these days," and here's what she discovered:

What She Wants…
1. Fabulous foreplay
2. To get their sexy back
3. More emotional intimacy

What He Wants…
1. Passionate positive reinforcement
2. Less pressure to be the best ever
3. More surprises in the sack

Do you agree that these are the top three for women and men? I welcome your comments.

To read Julie's article, click here.

Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell interviews Joan Price

I was interviewed by Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell about the motivation and process of writing Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Here are a few excerpts from Kerri's interview with me:

This Author Talks Straight about Sex
Today, I interviewed Joan Price, author of "Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty." She talks about writing a ground-breaking book on an undercovered subject, building her platform on the web and how she sold a book targeting women over 60 when the market place seems almost to ignore anyone over 40!

Tell us a bit about yourself.
I'm a lively woman of 63, enthusiastically in love with my husband. I'm the author of six books and hundreds of magazine articles, a fitness professional, public speaker, and contemporary line-dance instructor. Since my book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, came out and got widespread attention, I've become a spokesperson for senior sex, or, as I call myself, an advocate for ageless sexuality. (I've also been called a "wrinkly sex kitten" by one newspaper – I have to say I love that!)

Tell us about your book.
Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty is mainly my intensely up-front-and-personal story of hot sex with my 68-year old lover (who is now my 70-year-old husband), along with snippets of interviews with other sexually seasoned women about their experiences, and a hefty dose of tips from the experts. It's warm, sexy, candid, often funny, and very informative!

How did you come up with the topic/why did you feel there was a need for it?
At age 59, when I first envisioned the book, I was in a relationship with this amazing man of 66, and it was hot, really hot. We were like a couple of teenagers, yet with the wisdom of decades of relationship experience. Despite the sexual exhilaration, we were making love in older bodies, with new challenges. For example, I didn't lubricate enough for sexual comfort, and my arousal time took much longer. I went looking for books on the subject – and I didn't find any that reflected what I wanted: sexy, fun to read, and informative. They were either academic, or doom-and-gloom, or too young. See, there were tons of books for and about Boomers, but they addressed readers as if they just turned fifty—when actually, for many of us, fifty was a decade ago! There are books about sex after forty, after menopause, after fifty—but after sixty? It's as if "sixty" is the new dirty word.

What is one of the challenges for women who want to be sexually active after 60?
Just one challenge? Can I give you a list instead?
· Seeing our bodies as sexy despite wrinkles and sags and a youth-centered society
· Slower arousal
· More difficulty lubricating
· More difficulty reaching orgasm
· If single, attracting a partner
· If in long-term relationship, keeping sex spicy
· Health challenges: ours and our partners'

Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell's "K.C.'s Write For You" is a blog about the freelance writing life from the perspective of a stay at home "mom" of 3 dogs, 2 cats and a husband.

Talking to teens about senior sexuality

I was recently interviewed by Karen Rayne, Ph.D., a sex educator for teenagers and their parents who has a blog about adolescent sexuality . I'd like to repeat that interview here and get your comments:

Karen Rayne: Why do you think senior sexuality is important?

Joan Price: It's important because we've been seen by society and by the media (and sometimes by ourselves!) as asexual, unsexy, and altogether icky if we are sexually active and enthusiastic about it. We need to change that, not just for those of us who are already in our golden years, but for all ages. I offer this plea to young people: Help us change our society's view of older people as either sexless or ludicrous and disgusting for wanting sex. Realize that our bodies change, but we're still the same lusty and loving people that we were when we were your age.

Karen Rayne: What do you see as the life-long path that can lead to healthy senior sexuality?

Joan Price: Acceptance of our own sexuality and open-mindedness about any consensual sex taking place between people of age to give consent -- and by that I mean emotional age, not legal age of consent necessarily. I know that at age 17, I was fully ready to engage in sex with my 19-year-old boyfriend. We had been dating for two years, and only waited that long because we were scared to death that either my parents would find out or I'd get pregnant. (The first happened; the second didn't.) I fear for girls who become sexually active before they're emotionally ready, though -- to please a boyfriend, or because "everyone's doing it." I encourage teens to talk to older, trusted adults before becoming sexually active, and definitely to use barrier protection (condoms) every time.

Karen Rayne: How can parents and teachers best help children and teenagers start down that road?

Joan Price: I was a high school English teacher for 22 years before I switched to a writing career, and I still have a great love for and enjoyment of teenagers. When I was teaching, many students talked to me or wrote in their journals about their relationships. Sometimes they confided intimate details that they didn't feel they could tell their parents. I encourage teachers to make themselves accessible and safe, letting their students know they're available, opening up topics in class that let the teenagers know that the teachers understand and have useful perspectives to share. I encourage parents to do the same thing, but realize -- and please accept this -- that as open-minded, accessible, and loving as they are, their teenaged sons and daughters might feel more comfortable talking to a different adult. (I'd love to hear from teenagers about how they feel about this topic.)

Also, see your body as a lifelong source of sexual pleasure, and see the beauty in older people. I know it's difficult, when our society and especially the media stresses that beauty and sexuality are the domain of the young. For your own sake, please reject this notion. As you age, welcome the new image of sexuality that you'll see in yourself and in your peers.

I also invited Karen's readers to visit this blog:

As young people (and I'm talking to both teens and parents!), you may resist reading about people who are 60 or 70 or older talking so openly about their sexual attitudes and experiences, but I think it's very important that we talk and you hear us, just as you want us to hear you.

I look forward to reading the comments of the teens and their parents who visit us here.

Village Voice: Knockin' Vintage Boots

"People are living longer, healthier lives so why shouldn't their sex lives keep on going? And why are we so afraid to imagine that they do?" writes Tristan Taormino in "Knockin' Vintage Boots: Golden girls get their groove on past 60," which appeared May 22, 2007 in the Village Voice.

I'm quoted in this section:

.... "At what age do you plan to retire your genitals?" That's what Joan Price asks those who consider sexy seniors "icky." Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, says, "The main misconception is that seniors are either asexual, pathetic, or ludicrous because they're still interested in sex." She was so frustrated with the lack of positive images and information, she wrote a book about what she calls "ageless sexuality." Price tackles a myriad of subjects from serious issues like dealing with painful intercourse to spicy stories of threesomes.

Price's book and accompanying blog, [Betty] Dodson's work, and [Deirdre] Fishel's documentary have all kick-started a much needed dialogue. They not only prove that seniors do in fact have fulfilling sex lives, they can also empower older folks to get busy.

However, there is a serious lack of resources for the complex sexual issues facing people over 60, including illness and disability, hormonal changes, a decrease in libido and arousal, and the effect of common medications, not too mention coping with major changes to the vagina post-menopause, including dryness, atrophy, and a thinning of the tissue that can cause tearing, discomfort, and pain.

Taormino quotes Betty Dodson as saying, "Sex is such an important part of intimacy and bonding, of touching and feeling connected with a partner, of accepting our bodies and the wonderful physicality of which we're capable." Exactly!

Do you agree?

Beyond Sags and Bags: MSN.com

Thanks to Jeremy Egner for his enlightening article, "The New Definition of 'Sexy'" on the men's lifestyle channel at MSN.com.

Egner cites a recent poll of more than 10,600 American adults that found that "sexy is more an attitude than it is a perfect physique." More than 76 percent said a woman can be sexy if she was a size 14 or larger (well, sure!) and that "women (84 percent) are much more likely than men (63 percent) to say sexiness derives from an intangible quality ... rather than looks.

Egner interviewed me about how non-physical qualities become even more sexy as we age. On page 2, he writes,

But as we get older and gain status, emotional security and hard-won wisdom, we're looking less for hotties and babymakers than for compatible mates that will help create durable and rewarding relationships, says Joan Price, author, blogger and self-described "advocate of ageless sexuality."

Such considerations feed our personal ideas about what is sexy. Other factors include our awareness of our own changing bodies.

"We have wrinkles, sags and bags. If having perfect faces and unlined bodies was a prerequisite for sexiness, we'd be out of the story already," says Joan Price, 63, who wrote about evolving sexuality in her book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty. "We yearn for the same touch and intimacy but we have to first internalize the changed idea of what sexy is. We have to see ourselves as sexy."

Price recalls asking her 70-year-old husband Robert, whom she married last May, to explain exactly how he could consider her to be as beautiful as he claimed when she could plainly see all her lines and physical imperfections whenever she looked into a mirror. (So don't expect those sorts of questions to go away anytime soon, guys.)

"He told me, 'If I am to know myself and accept my own aging process, how could I want anything less from you?'" Price says. "I tell that story sometimes when I'm asked to speak somewhere and women always ask, 'Does Robert have a brother?'"

"When two people who really accept themselves come together, that's where good sex happens," she adds. "The most powerful sex organ is the brain."

With this article, though, is a slide slow of the so-called "Sexiest Women Over 35," which I found very disappointing. Why? The oldest "woman over 35" is Elle Macpherson, who is just 44 (a teenybopper in our world). Why isn't Sophia Loren (73) on that list? Julie Christie (66)? Lena Horne (88)? Or any of the other women listed on my post, How Old Are They Now?

Or does "over 35" have a nine year cut-off date?

This list is one more reminder of how much work is left to do in tearing down the stereotype of sexiness as synonymous with youth, and substituting real live role models of sexiness twice as old as the youngsters MSN.com chose as the "sexiest women over 35"!

Best Life magazine: "a lot of kissing and touching and maybe a sex toy"

I'm quoted/mentioned extensively in "She Hunts by Night," an article by Colin McEnroe in Best Life magazine, April 2007, about "How to handle the (new) sexually empowered over-40 woman." McEnroe, a midlife man, says,

Many of us men spent the first half of our lives trying to talk women into having sex with us. Now we occasionally try to talk them out of it ... We live in a new culture of sexually empowered older women... The last two years have seen a rockslide of books both documenting and encouraging the sexual reblossoming of women age 40 and up.

... Joan Price told me she wrote [Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty] partly because she couldn’t find any books for people like her. Price is a fitness instructor from Northern California who found herself “in a new relationship and having the best sex of my life, but not without challenges.”She went looking for information and found “doom and gloom…you’re gonna wither and dry up…give it up…sex is for the young.”Price wrote a book that is solution oriented. By that, I mean there’s information about actual solutions you can rub on parts of you that aren’t as damp as they used to be, and there’s a chapter about sex toys, because Price believes that female orgasm, post-50, is “much more subtle and takes longer to get there … a lot of kissing and touching and maybe a sex toy.”

... “What we want from men is not what they think we want,” agrees Price. “Men think we want a raging erection and the ­Energizer bunny. We have always wanted foreplay. Now we want even more, so much that we don’t even want to call it foreplay. I actually recommend that older couples schedule lovemaking. Schedule it at a time of day when you both have a lot of energy, which is usually not when you’re falling asleep at night. There’s a reason they call it ‘afternoon delight.’ And schedule at least two hours.”

I want to point out here that my "two hours" recommendation isn't meant to intimidate anyone or suggest marathon, two-hour intercourse. Rather, the two hours includes all the "surroundings" of good sex that make it great: a long warmup; lots of kissing, touching, talking and laughing; leisurely sex; and time for cuddling and maybe even napping afterwards. It's a total experience of intimacy, not just the "go for the goal" part.

"Best and Mightiest Aphrodite"

Hey, this is so cool! I just received the "Best of the North Bay 2007" award for "Best and Mightiest Aphrodite" AKA "wrinkly sex kitten" by the North Bay Bohemian newspaper ! I love it!

This happened the same week I had cataract surgery. It all fits together, doesn't it? ;) Here's the article:

The Bohemian's

Best of the North Bay 2007

Romance: Writers' Picks
Best and Mightiest Aphrodite

If gaining entrance to the love-ins of the '60s was contingent upon being mortal, Aphrodite would likely have traded in her spot on Mt. Olympus for a ticket. Some 40-odd years later, would this goddess-turned-mortal still be sexy? Somewhere after menopause, she'd probably have traded in her Botticelli curls for a Diane Sawyer coif. Popping Viagra, suitors would still come knocking to woo this now mature and wrinkly sex kitten.

Wrinkly sex kitten? Yeah, why not. Enter the world of Joan Price, who at 63 is pshawing the way that pop culture ridicules older people who still have sex. The Sebastopol resident has written Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, which has become something of a bible for sextua-, septua- and octogenarians wanting to restore their sex lives. She's packed the book with exercises to keep love muscles tuned up, testimonials by older women doing it and her own story about falling for the love of her life at age 57.

This author-cheerleader has been touring throughout the country, giving workshops to women--and sometimes men--who are 50-plus and want to keep their sex drive alive. "When I do a workshop," she says giggling, "it's sort of an ice breaker the first time I say 'lubricant' or 'vaginal tissue' or 'clitoris' or 'sex toy.'"

To Price, mature desire is not an oxymoron. In fact, she and her husband don't see any reason why wisdom shouldn't be sexy. "[My husband] sees wrinkles as sexy," she says. "He sees an aging body and face, certainly, as extremely attractive, because they reflect what a woman has experienced and learned and given to the world and brought back to herself. Someone without them is sort of suspect."

Price also has a popular blog, www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com, where she and her readers discuss issues surrounding aging. In one recent post, Price brainstorms about different terms to describe older people: senior, elderly, mature, etc. She was prompted to write this post after reading a newspaper article that referred to a political conference attendee as a "little old lady." Although the article wasn't talking about her, per se, she took it as an affront to her demographic as a whole. On her blog, she quipped, "Don't call me a little old lady . . . Call me Joan." Whatever you call her, she's our mighty, middle-aged Aphrodite.

Article and photo by Brett Ascarelli

North Bay Bohemian: Birds, Bees, and Oldsters Do It

Thanks to Cole Porter, we know that birds do it, bees do it, even overeducated fleas do it. Well, apparently oldsters do it, too.

Happy Valentine's Day! I was delighted to be profiled in the North Bay Bohemian's 2007 Sex Issue in a lively article by Brett Ascarelli titled "Certain Age." Here are some excerpts:

Last fall, ABC Nightline sent a crew to Sebastopol to interview author Joan Price about seniors, sex and dating. Price, a former high school teacher turned fitness author and guru, fell in love a few years ago, drawing media attention when she claimed that she was having the best sex of her life. In 2006, she released Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty (Seal Press; $15.95), already in its second printing. The book features interviews with "sexually seasoned women," experts' advice about keeping the nethers in shape and Price's own musings on the challenges of being a sexy senior. The book's popularity spawned a related blog, in which Price moderates discussions about sex for the mature set.

One recent afternoon at her Sebastopol house, the 4'11" Price is wearing a rhinestone-covered blouse and Mary Janes. No wonder she's getting some; at 63, she's super-fit, thanks to a frequent work-out regimen and what must still be damn good metabolism, given the chocolate cookies she's munching.

... Price is a poster-adult for the cause and now fields sex-related questions from mature adults at workshops across the country.

"I call myself an advocate for ageless sexuality," Price laughs, "but maybe I'm trying to do more than that: I'm trying to change society one mind at a time, I guess."

Ascarelli, a young woman, took to heart my comments about the need for society to change its ageist attitude toward sex. She quoted me saying, "I think it will be easier [for women in the future], especially if younger people pay attention to what we're going through now and don't see us as the Other, but just as themselves in a few decades."

photo by Brett Ascarelli

"Watch Me!" 50+Fabulous

I'm happy to be profiled on 50+Fabulous "where women 50+ years in age come together to share ideas and motivate one another to renew their sense of self, go after and achieve their dreams NOW, and turbo charge their lives," says creator Patti Heisser. Patti interviewed me at length and wrote a marvelous profile titled "Watch Me!" -- a theme of my life, for sure! -- for the February "Love" issue, online now.

Here's an excerpt:

... At 34, she had the first of two, nearly fatal, head-on collisions. When the doctors gave her the prognosis of a potential ability to walk, she countered with "I don't care about walking, I want to dance!" You just know that, inside her head, she was saying, "Watch me!" ....

With her vast reservoir of energy, enthusiasm, intelligence and grit, and while continuing to teach, she embarked on a writing career. She wrote in the morning, taught during the day, taught aerobics after school, and then graded papers in the evening. After saving enough money to support herself for one year, she took a leave of absence, to see if she could sustain herself as a writer. She never looked back.

But she had another goal as well. When she was recovering from her accident, she saw many people who could move and chose not to...who led sedentary lives. She felt passionate about introducing people to the joy of movement. Predictably, she was told "You can't make a living in the fitness industry." And, by now you know what she said..."Watch Me!" She taught classes, became a motivational speaker, taught line dancing and published hundreds of articles and five health and fitness books, most recently The Anytime, Anywhere Exercise Book: 300+ Quick & Easy Exercises You Can Do Whenever You Want.

Then, on a rainy day, in the same month and just five minutes away from the location of her previous accident 16 years earlier, she got hit head-on again. With the same courage, and determination she lived, she healed, and she danced.

And, so did Robert…right into her life. At 57, Joan met the love of her life in her line dancing class, but it took nine months before they started dating. They were married four years later, she at 62, and he 69.

She discovered how great sex can be at 60+! But, when she also found the cultural taboos surrounding mature sex, she set out to change that too! She shares humor, experience, candid information and the stories of other 60+ women in her book Better Than I Ever Expected. Hmmm...you might just want to pick it up this
Valentine's Day!

More on ABC Nightline show

On Friday, Dec. 1, ABC Nightline aired the segment on senior dating and sex, including an interview with me and a bit of my love story with Robert.

I had no idea how Nightline's hours of interview time would translate to a couple of minutes of air time. I knew the emphasis of the show would be on seniors' risky sexual behavior, and I hoped there would also be room for the joy and intimacy of senior sexuality.

ABC did a great job putting this show together and -- yes -- conveying not only the cautions that our age group needs to be aware of, but also the joy and exuberance -- as well as the challenges -- of being fully alive in aging bodies.

I was thrilled when I saw it. Having watched it five times now, though, it's a little embarrassing that so much focus was on how creaky our aging bodies become! I liked that the creaky talk was juxtaposed with the energetic and not-the-least-bit-creaky line dance visuals – that was cool. (And it's amusing that I'm receiving emails from people recommending specific mattresses and arthritis remedies to combat the creakiness!)

One thing I didn't mention in my background story in the post below: We had some laughs before the taping, when I asked what language was acceptable and what wasn't. I knew I'd be reading aloud from reader comments on my blog, and I'm used to speaking frankly. Respectfully, but frankly.

We all laughed together as we went over words: "erection" was OK, "hard" wasn't. When they told me that "clitoris" was okay, I reduced the crew to hysterics when I proclaimed, "Great! I've always wanted to say 'clitoris' on national TV!" But ...it turns out I didn't!

Did you see the show? What did you think?

Joan on ABC Nightline 12/1/06: senior dating/ sex

(photo of Vicki Mabrey from ABC Nightline)

Air date update: The senior dating/sex segment ran December 1, 2006!

Tuesday, October 24, put me on a natural high that still makes me tingle. That's the day that ABC Nightline came to Sebastopol, CA to film an interview me for a segment about senior dating, sex, and sexual health.

First, the film crew met me at Coaches’ Corner, where I teach line dancing, and filmed my line dancers (who had assembled for a contemporary line dance demo) for an hour. It was both strange and exhilarating to dance with cameras literally in our faces, at our feet, everywhere we turned. I am grateful to our fabulous line dancers who kept their cool and kept on dancing and smiling.

The crew then drove to our house and settled in: moving furniture, asking Robert to move some of his paintings so the right color painting would be behind me, setting up lights in two different rooms, checking the lights and sound with me sitting, talking, typing. They filmed me typing and reading the Sex and Dating comments of my blog. (Thank you, those of you who commented!)

Next Vicki Mabrey, the 4-time Emmy award winning correspondent, and producer Talesha Reynolds arrived from New York. Fabulous women, full of spirit, they seemed to enjoy every word as they interviewed me for about 2.5 hours. We talked about many subjects related to seniors dating, loving, having sex. We discussed our culture's stereotypes of older people having sex as either ludicrous or icky. (You know how I feel about that!)

At the end of it all, Vicki and Talesha asked me to teach them a line dance, which I did with pleasure. We danced, shook our hips, and laughed together.

I’m thrilled about getting the opportunity to “speak out” on this important topic to a huge audience. I'll check in again here after the show airs.

Autumn of Love: "We are having hot, fabulous sex after 60"

Freelance writer Mark L. Fuerst wrote a terrific article based on an interview with me which has appeared in several newspapers, such as The Missoulian, Florida Today, and others. I thought you'd enjoy reading it:

Autumn of Love

Birds do it, bees to it, even educated older couples can, too. Here’s some straight talk about sex after 60.

By Mark L. Fuerst
CTW Features

Society’s view of aging women as sexless is wrong. “Many of us are having the best sex of our lives. We are having hot, fabulous sex after 60,” says Joan Price, author of “Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty” (Seal Press, 2006).

Some 70 percent of sexually active women over 60 reported being as satisfied or more satisfied with their sexual lives than they were in their 40s, according to a 1998 survey of nearly 1,300 Americans aged 60 or older, conducted by the National Council on Aging, Washington, D.C.

“My experience certainly supports that,” says Price, who also is a dance instructor, fitness professional, speaker and health writer. “In my 40s, I was unnerved by the realization that my sex life was being affected by undeniable signs and feelings of aging. Now I’ve grown past wanting to hold onto to youth in the bedroom, and as a result I feel truly present with my lover and capable of intense satisfaction.”

Changes after menopause make sexual enjoyment challenging, but “we’re using our creativity, our personal power, the joy and intimacy of our relationships, and useful tools of all sorts — from sex toys to a sense of humor — to tackle those challenges,” Price says.

The book is mainly about her intensely up-front-and-personal story of hot sex with her 68-year-old lover, Robert, whom she married earlier this year, along with snippets of interviews with other sexually seasoned women about their experiences.

“Sexual response is in our brains. I’m in love with the man I’ve been looking for my whole life, whom I met when I was 57 and he was 64,” says Price, age 61 when she wrote the book. “We’re as turned on by each other as a couple of teenagers, but with the juicy addition of decades of life experience, self-knowledge, communication skills and a sense of humor. We’re also willing to experiment and stretch our boundaries.”

Kaycee, age 66, says, “Keep an open mind. Remember that there is always something new to try and so many men out there. Sex after 60 could be the best time of your life if you play it right.”

Price adds that “we overcome the physical challenges by being inventive and resourceful. We take advantage of the lessened urgency by slowing things down, taking more time.”

You call that ‘older’?

Unfortunately, society has not become more accepting of older-age sexuality. “One day I watched some television talk shows about the sexiness of older women. They dressed sexy, pole-danced, and taught the audience how to strip. But these so-called ‘older’ women were probably in their 40s! I’d like to see women who admit and look like they’re over 60 on these talk shows, rousing other older women to assert their sexuality. We need to accept that women can and do stay sexy through the decades, and it doesn’t stop when we no longer can hide the wrinkles or saggy skin.”

Claire, age 66, says, “I think my body is great. I have all the wrinkles and brown spots, and that’s fine, that’s who I am. And the body works better than it ever has. The woman I’m with thinks I’m the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen in her life, which makes me feel great. I wish women could just learn to love their bodies like I have done, and refuse to buy the social stuff that’s out there about youth and beauty. We are all beautiful.”

Phoebe, age 64, says, “Generally my life is easier, less driven, so sex is a part of it rather than a driving force. It is easier not being controlled by my hormones and sex drive. Also, I feel very self-confident about my sexuality and attractiveness, pleased that I am attractive to others, even younger men.”

One of Price’s major messages is that boomers are redefining aging and sexuality. “We’re the Love Generation; we practically invented sex,” she says. “We’re not about to shut the gates now!”

The article also includes my tips for keeping sex vibrant and fun as we age, which you can read here.

Many thanks to Mark L. Fuerst and to CTW Features for permission to reprint this article here.

-- Joan

Healthy Life: "a celebration of sex"

I was interviewed by Jennifer Margulis, author of Why Babies Do That and editor of Toddler: Real-life Stories of Those Fickle, Irrational, Urgent, Tiny People We Love. She turned the interview into a marvelous feature story for Healthy Life, a quarterly health supplement to the Greenfield Recorder which circulates to about 50,000 readers in Massachusetts and Vermont.

The article is not available online, but here are some excerpts:

Fitness writer and former high school English teacher Joan Price has finally found her calling. At 62, Price now identifies herself an “ageless sexuality advocate.” What’s that? A spokesperson for the sex life of aging Baby Boomers.

Her advocacy has come in the form of a 269-page book, just released from Seal Press, “Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty.” The book is divided into 15 chapters—everything from “Plug In, Turn On: The Quick Version of Everything You Need to Know about Sex Toys” to “When You or Your Partner Can’t.” Price also includes advice for spicing up long-term relationships, reentering the dating scene, fitness over 60, and other topics.

The book is a celebration of sex by a woman who writes frankly about her own sexual awakening over the years... “Juicy is an attitude,” Price writes in a chapter entitled, “It Ain’t Easy After Menopause,” “… based not on the flow of our vaginal secretions but on physical well-being, emotional state, mental attitude, and love of sex. Here’s to post-menopausal zest—and understanding lovers!”

The idea for the book came out of the relationship she was having with an understanding lover....

“I went looking for good sex books, both fiction and nonfiction, specifically aimed at my age group. I was surprised - and turned off! - by how few of these books existed, and how dry and unsexy most of them were,” she says. “Some were much too academic to bring into the bedroom, many were outdated, and some were supposed to be titillating but weren’t—at least to us.”

So Price decided to write the book she wanted to read.... And her book—which is full of exclamation points and positive affirmations about ageless sex—reads like it was written by a woman on a mission.

Price’s mission is to celebrate, enhance, and affirm the sex lives of women (and men) over 60.

...Of course, sex after 60 isn’t always easy, as Price is the first to admit. In Better Than I Ever Expected Price includes a chapter about when one partner or the other is not able to be sexually intimate. She also talks honestly about the changes wrought on women by menopause and on men by aging, gravity, and prostate dysfunction.

... “Our hormonally deprived bodies challenge us with less lubrication; thinner, less resilient vaginal tissues; and often less physical sensation,” she admits. “Our bodies are slower to respond, and we may have more trouble reaching orgasm.”

Some of Price’s solutions to our body’s changes? Lubricants, vibrators, a sense of humor, and a very patient, loving partner.

“Sexual response is in our brains more than our genitals,” Price insists. “My lover and I are as turned on by each other as a couple of teenagers, but with the juicy addition of decades of life experience, self-knowledge, communication skills, and a ense of humor.”

She says sex over 60 has made her both adventurous and accepting: “We’re willing to experiment and stretch our boundaries. Men will be relieved to learn how accepting most women are about men’s changes and how to have great sex even when some parts aren’t cooperating.”

Throughout the book Price includes quotes from women who took her survey—women in their 60s who are having great sex. It’s a pre-selected group, which Price herself points out. When she sent out a call for interviewees she stated she was looking for “sassy, sexy women, age 60+ to share feelings and experiences openly and anonymously” so any women who didn’t fit that description would not have responded.

...If you’re looking for great sex over 60 but not yet having it, this book might make you feel rather alienated and depressed (wow, all those folks out there getting their groove on, where’s mine?). But maybe, just maybe, it’ll get you into your first sex shop purchasing your first sex toy. After all, it’s never too late to start.

For more information about Price, visit: http://www.joanprice.com/.

Anne Rodgers: Better Than I Ever Expected is "both uplifting and horrifying"

Anne Rodgers reviewed Five books on midlife sex for Cox News Service. Here's what she said about Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty:

I found this book both uplifting and horrifying. Uplifting because of author Joan Price's frank optimism and practicality; horrifying because of the challenges to successful coupling that most of us are apparently going to face. In addition to the normal aches and pains associated with aging, Joan covers loss of libido, catastrophic illness, impotence, painful intercourse and the post-menopausal issues of vaginal dryness and thinning of the vaginal walls (which can result in tearing). Yikes!

While the glimpse into the future was daunting, I was again and again heartened by Joan's grace and courage as she delved into the particulars of traditionally awkward subjects, addressing each with the comforting light of acceptance and education. Her observations are interspersed with comments from women she interviewed on topics such as using sex toys, the challenge of finding a partner, spicing up a long-term relationship, solo sex and more. Of the six books, this is the most specific, the most upbeat and perhaps the most helpful.

Ottawa Sun: "right into the nitty-gritty"

I love this article by lifestyle columnist Ann Marie McQueen in the Ottawa Sun today!

Ageless Sex Advice
Author touting the benefits of nookie after 60 during stop at local adult shop
By Ann Marie McQueen, Ottawa Sun

After I suggest to California author Joan Price she seems to have landed the world's greatest sixtysomething man -- scratch that, the greatest man of any age -- she launches right into the nitty-gritty.

They're out there, says the author of Better Than I Expected:Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, who is coming to Ottawa this weekend to give two workshops on the topic at downtown sex shop Venus Envy.

The men she speaks of, like her Robert, came of age in the 1960s too, and many of them want to be with their female contemporaries, want to find ways to make sex good with them, no matter what their aging bodies say about it, says Price.

She gathers steam as she describes such men, who will listen as women say things like, "let's see what we can do about my thinning vaginal tissues, about my lack of lubrication."

She stops suddenly.

"This may be too frank for you."

"No, no,"I say, realizing I had starting chuckling out loud right about the time Price said "thinning vaginal tissues."

"It's fine."

"You all right?"she says once more, sweetly, before forging ahead " -- what can we do about my slow arousal, what can we do about the time it takes to reach orgasm?"

If you are below 50, and before you start going 'ewwww' at the priceless Price, it might be time to think about where your own life is headed. That's right. Straight to 60, and beyond. Might be time to pay attention. And ditch the attitude, such as the kind embodied in Louise Rafkin's article for the San Francisco Chronicle magazine, headlined "Now that Baby Boomers have discovered there's sex after 60, could they please stop writing about it?"

It's not very likely Price is going to do anything of the kind. In fact, she's made it her mission to speak on it as much, and as frankly, as possible.

"If you want to be a sexual person, you've gotta really make a commitment to it, you've really gotta say, 'I'm gonna love my wrinkles, I'm gonna love my sags, I'm gonna love my partner's wrinkles and sags and we're gonna find ways to rejuvenate the relationship,' " she said.

While the one-time English teacher, fitness professional and author was penning Better, Gail Sheehy would be building on the success of her book Passages 30 years ago with Sex and the Seasoned Woman, which was all over the morning TV shows, Internet and newspapers when it came out in January.

Fitting, really, considering Price blames the media for the dim light cast on aging women.

"It has never portrayed the older woman as sexy, understanding herself, self-confident, self-knowledgeable, self-affirming and that that's a good thing," says the California-based Price.
If women are shown as sexual when they are older, it's either perceived as ground-breaking (Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give) or predatory and pathetic (a turn by actress Holland Taylor on Boston Legal's predecessor The Practice). They are invisible in magazines, says Price, who is determined to build on the current wave of awareness.

"I want it to seem normal for one," she says, "and I want people who have not come out of the woodwork to talk about it, and they are."

Price's perky, inspirational book offers not academic theories but practical expertise. It is filled with concrete tips -- say, instructions for how to use a vibrator -- and she's-been there-anecdotes about everything from exercise, to hormone replacement therapy.

She's even delighting in holding her Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty workshops in new-generation adult stores like Venus Envy. Drawing people who've never visited them, helping them realize the sex-related treasures they hold, is another of Price's goals.

"They are places filled with joy and laughter, and the attitude that sensuality and sexuality are great pleasures for us," she said. "And they are just showing us ways we can enhance those pleasures."

Price will give two workshops this weekend, each from 6:30-8:30 p.m. Saturday's is open to women and men, while Sunday's is limited to women. The cost is $25. For information, call the store at 789-4646.

Ottawa XPress: "the book'll whip your skull"

In an article titled "Check the Expiry Date" in the Ottawa Xpress, Sylvie Hill wrote about Better Than I Ever Expected:

I always wanted a book of nude photographs of older ladies to help me grow accustomed to what I'll become. I haven't found that book, but I have checked out Joan Price's Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty (Seal Press, 2006). Price is priceless... As a collection of testimonials about sex from gay, straight, married and single 60-plussers, the book'll whip your skull over yonder toward the future, and alert you to some sizzling possibilities!