Breaking News: It is Now OK to Love Queers

If you're a Southern Baptist, great news!  It's now OK to love homosexuals!  You can now get rid of your Gaydar Detector and take a deep breath!  Southern Baptist Theological Seminary President Albert Mohler has shaken up evangelical circles with his recent chastising of Southern Baptists and their tendency for negative treatment of homosexuals.  The Associated Press quoted Mohler as saying, "We’ve (Southern Baptists) lied about the nature of homosexuality and have practiced what can only be described as homophobia… We’ve used the choice language when it is clear that sexual orientation is a deep inner struggle and not merely a matter of choice...That doesn't mean it's any less sinful, but it does mean it's not something that people can just turn on and turn off."  He also encouraged the denomination to repent from a "form of homophobia" and condemnation, rather than granting them a spirit of love and embracing them as fellow sinners.

Southern Baptist Convention President Bryant Wright has also recently challenged conservatives to refrain from using hateful rhetoric toward the gay and lesbian community and urged compassion in saying, “It’s not only upholding God’s Word, but there’s always that spirit of Jesus that we want to seek to communicate. When we feel passionately that something is wrong, we are still called to love that person who is ignoring what God’s Word says. It’s not always easy to do.”  Note that neither of these two leaders are condoning homosexuality or rejecting the traditional doctrinal belief that it is a sin.

Most of you know that I attended Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, but don't necessarily label myself to be a Southern Baptist.  My initial reaction to these two statements was that these leaders deserve praise for taking what is proving to be a very controversial stance.  This is a huge step for a denomination that has long been considered intolerant, judgmental and even hateful toward the homosexual community.  But after meditating on this for a while, I realized that I actually have a very different perspective on this issue and wondering if it is such a good thing after all.

First of all, I am purposely not going to share my beliefs on homosexuality.  Many of you already know where I stand on this issue and if you would like to know details on how I feel personally and how I deal with this in ministry, you can always email me and I'll be glad to elaborate.  However, the purpose of my silence of personal belief is intricately intertwined with the reason I am writing this blog in the first place, and that lies in a simple question: Why?

Why does it matter?  Why is a non-Christian homosexual any different than other non-Christians and why do Christians have to be told how to treat them?  Why does it have to come to a point where two very respected Christian leaders have to remind us that we need to love our human brothers and sisters, regardless of their particular sins?  You see, whether or not you believe that homosexuality is a sin is totally irrelevant. The overshadowing element is that our personal beliefs should have no bearing on our love for one another and should have nothing to do with how we treat each other; in this case those that claims to be a homosexuals.

From the perspective of the Kingdom of God, there are two types of people that we journey through this life with: those that know the truth, love and salvation of Jesus Christ, and those that don't.  Our mission within the Kingdom should remain focused on bringing Christ's life changing message to light; not critiquing the sins of someone that needs Christ because of sin.  Whether or not homosexuality is a sin is not the point.  The point is, we're all messed up people before knowing Christ and carry a lot of crap in our baggage.  We need His unconditional love and to understand that it doesn't matter what's in the suitcase.  That's why we need Christ and that's why others come to him in the first place.  Does it matter, or should it matter why they come?  Do our individual sins calculate differently on the salvation meter?  Because I have news for you; God looks at ALL sin as repulsive, so if that disgusting spec in your neighbor's eye is causing you chronic nausea, try removing the hideous log in your own first. (Matthew 7:3) 

This reminds me of the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8.  If you aren't familiar with the story, take a look at it in John 8:3-11  The Pharisees come rushing up to Jesus with this young woman that has been sleeping around.  More than likely, she was a prostitute, in fact some theologians think that this woman could have been Mary Magdalene.  "Teacher, this skanky woman was caught screwing some guy that she's not married to!  She’s a whore!  The Law of Moses says that we should kill her!  She's not worth salvation!  She's a lost cause!  What do you think about this?"  After all is said and done, what does Jesus say to the woman?  Does He point out the fact that her sin is more repulsive than the next person?  Does He tell her to keep her legs closed, stop sleeping around and gets her life straight first, and then come back?  Instead Jesus tells her that He doesn't condemn her.  He doesn’t judge her.  He  doesn’t make her feel like an outcast, subhuman or not worthy of the Kingdom.  He accepts her as she is and asks her to leave her life of sin; not her life of sex, her life of sin.  Did you catch that?  He doesn't rate her sins on a scale of 1-10, or point out to everyone that she’s a whore.  He just says "leave it" and "come".

Come.  I like that about Jesus.  He asked people to come to Him, and they did.  When He walked the earth, he just wanted to be close to people, not caring where they’d been or what they’d done.  He just wanted people to come.  The Church is His Body, His hands and feet.  Why should we add qualifications that He never did?    

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30                 

Kiri Blakeley on her gay fiancé, dating in New York and her memoir Can't Think Straight

Some of you caught Can't Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love author Kiri Blakeley doing her very first reading from the book at Comedy Sex Night at In The Flesh last November. I just interviewed her for SexIs Magazine about finding out her fiancé was gay, dating in New York (she paints a very vivid picture of the confusion that can cause for women who like men), sexual orientation and whether her memoir is a "slut-fest."



One of the most compelling people describe in your book is James. You wrote: “For James, and men like him, fucking a girl was like watching a movie—something to do to pass the time.” You admit that when you started dating again, you were like that too—at first. Was that important because you felt you missed out on something by meeting Aaron so early?

I met Aaron when I was 26, so it wasn’t that early, but I had not dated much before him. I lost my virginity very late, at 24. I never was the type to sleep around. So yes, suddenly, when I got out of this relationship, I felt the need to go a bit wild.

Frankly, I was horny. I was in my mid-thirties, a peak sexual time for women, I felt comfortable with my body and what I wanted, I felt confident in my sexual abilities, and also, very important, I hadn’t had much of a sex life in the past five years. Aaron hadn’t shown much interest in it--for reasons that became obvious later--and I eventually lost interest, too.

Read the whole interview here


click above to buy on Amazon, where I wrote this review below. There's a line that I can't find but it was something about holding hands and I wish I'd had my usually ever-present stickie flags with me while reading (note to self, keep stickie flags on you at all times!) because it really was this perfect, perfect line):

In this often-humorous memoir, Kiri Blakeley explores both the aftermath of her ten-year relationship after her fiancé comes out as gay, as well as her emergence into a NYC dating world that is very different from the one she had encountered in her twenties. There is lots of drama here, from checking a lover's text messages and online dating profile to figuring out whether she can, or even wants to, have casual sex. Blakeley also goes from anger at her fiancé to a friendship that evolves along with her outlook on their years together; the scenes where they reunite show the resilience of their relationship, now in its platonic form, as well as the loneliness each of them feels as they move forward with their new lives.

Her relationship with James, who makes it clear he wants a casual relationship, a friendship, and is seeing other people (as is, at times, Blakeley), is both the most disturbed and problematic, but also the most compelling. After he says that can be both friends and lovers, while encouraging her to go on dates with others, she writes: "Sometime in the very early morning, I feel him tightly curling his hand around mine. When I attempt to pry my fingers from his so I can go to the kitchen to get water, he grunts his disapproval and clings tighter. It's moments like these that kept me coming back, I suppose."

There were times I wanted to yell at Blakeley, tell her she's better than some of the guys giving her the runaround, but she captures both her sense of freedom (albeit involuntary freedom) tempered with her increasing sense of attachment to her lovers. The ongoing drama makes for a gripping as well as realistic read, and the "mixed-up" of the title refers not only to her former fiancé, but to her as she tries online dating and the pickup scene, while assessing what went wrong (and right) with her ex. For any SATC fan, this is the real thing.

Free Kindle download today only of Blue Boy by Rakesh Satyal

Today only, download the novel Blue Boy FREE on Kindle by Rakesh Satyal.


Meet Kiran Sharma: lover of music, dance, and all things sensual; son of immigrants, social outcast, spiritual seeker. A boy who doesn't quite understand his lot — until he realizes he's a god...

As an only son, Kiran has obligations — to excel in his studies, to honor the deities, to find a nice Indian girl, and, above all, to make his mother and father proud — standard stuff for a boy of his background. If only Kiran had anything in common with the other Indian kids besides the color of his skin. They reject him at every turn, and his cretinous public schoolmates are no better. Cincinnati in the early 1990's isn't exactly a hotbed of cultural diversity, and Kiran's not-so-well-kept secrets don't endear him to any group. Playing with dolls; choosing ballet over basketball; taking the annual talent show way too seriously...the very things that make Kiran who he is also make him the star of his own personal freak show...

Surrounded with examples of upstanding Indian Americans — in his own home, in his temple, at the weekly parties given by his parents' friends — Kiran nevertheless finds it impossible to get the knack of "normalcy." And then one fateful day, a revelation: perhaps his desires aren't too earthly, but too divine. Perhaps the solution to the mystery of his existence has been before him since birth. For Kiran Sharma, a long, strange trip is about to begin — a journey so sublime, so ridiculous, so painfully beautiful, that it can only lead to the truth...





And a bonus...Rakesh performing at In The Flesh Reading Series earlier this year. He will perform at the finale on December 16th too! Clearly, you don't want to miss it (for many reasons, there will also be 500 free cupcakes and lots of awesome writers, and I'm making a special song request of Rakesh).