Showing posts with label bed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bed. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

~File This Under: Luxurious Shit... The "His, Hers and Theirs" Edition~

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“Living in the lap of luxury isn't bad, except that you never know when luxury is going to stand up”
-Orson Welles


Theirs:

1) The Mood Rocking Bed $2,995

Take a rocking chair and a bed, combine them and you have the Mood Rocking Bed. This bed literally sways you to sleep... Rock-A-Bye Glamour Whore!! The "sway speed" is controlled with rubber stoppers. Genius... As a lifelong insomniac I need this bed in my life. It helps that its also visually appealing and can used both indoors and outside. Imagine putting this bed on the beach and swaying to sleep to the sound of the ocean?! *sigh*





2) The "Lets Crystal It" $25,000 Toilet (Via Luxury Launches)

100,000 Swarovski crystals and a platinum seat. Sold!! And I probably wouldn't even use it... I mean, how would you even clean it?! But I still want it... It looks pretty and would be a great conversation piece.





His:

The $100,000 Razor

Did you know Iridium was 10x more rare than platinum? Me either. I learned from researching the Zaffiro $100,000 razor which is made from the apparently very precious metal. The decadent grooming tool also features platinum screws and blades made of white sapphire... I personally would never spend $100,00o on a razor unless it was guaranteed I would never have to shave again. Ever. BUT... I would so love to meet a man that would. For 2 reasons... 1) Because for some reason this strikes me as the kind of product that a James Bond/Renaissance type man would own and that type of man is sexy to me... 2) Because as soon as he left for work or to go off on some "mission" I would sooooo be in a scented bubble bath shaving my legs with it... I'm sorry but I just know that the feel of white sapphire razor blades against my thigh would be deliriously, decadently sexy... Don't judge me.




Hers:

The $$587,500 (or 3.8 million "Yuan") Diamond Cooking Pot:

As with the aforementioned toilet, I would never actually use this pot. It has solid gold handles (totaling 738 grams of gold) and 13 diamonds. Nope, I would put fire to this gorgeous pot. But I want it anyway. It's just so damn pretty... Oh, and did I mention they deliver it to your house in a Rolls Royce? You don't get to keep the car, but still... Nice touch.



Kisses Bitches...
Glamour Whore...xoxo

~File This Under: Luxurious Shit... The "His, Hers and Theirs" Edition~

Follow my blog with bloglovin´

“Living in the lap of luxury isn't bad, except that you never know when luxury is going to stand up”
-Orson Welles


Theirs:

1) The Mood Rocking Bed $2,995

Take a rocking chair and a bed, combine them and you have the Mood Rocking Bed. This bed literally sways you to sleep... Rock-A-Bye Glamour Whore!! The "sway speed" is controlled with rubber stoppers. Genius... As a lifelong insomniac I need this bed in my life. It helps that its also visually appealing and can used both indoors and outside. Imagine putting this bed on the beach and swaying to sleep to the sound of the ocean?! *sigh*





2) The "Lets Crystal It" $25,000 Toilet (Via Luxury Launches)

100,000 Swarovski crystals and a platinum seat. Sold!! And I probably wouldn't even use it... I mean, how would you even clean it?! But I still want it... It looks pretty and would be a great conversation piece.





His:

The $100,000 Razor

Did you know Iridium was 10x more rare than platinum? Me either. I learned from researching the Zaffiro $100,000 razor which is made from the apparently very precious metal. The decadent grooming tool also features platinum screws and blades made of white sapphire... I personally would never spend $100,00o on a razor unless it was guaranteed I would never have to shave again. Ever. BUT... I would so love to meet a man that would. For 2 reasons... 1) Because for some reason this strikes me as the kind of product that a James Bond/Renaissance type man would own and that type of man is sexy to me... 2) Because as soon as he left for work or to go off on some "mission" I would sooooo be in a scented bubble bath shaving my legs with it... I'm sorry but I just know that the feel of white sapphire razor blades against my thigh would be deliriously, decadently sexy... Don't judge me.




Hers:

The $$587,500 (or 3.8 million "Yuan") Diamond Cooking Pot:

As with the aforementioned toilet, I would never actually use this pot. It has solid gold handles (totaling 738 grams of gold) and 13 diamonds. Nope, I would put fire to this gorgeous pot. But I want it anyway. It's just so damn pretty... Oh, and did I mention they deliver it to your house in a Rolls Royce? You don't get to keep the car, but still... Nice touch.



Kisses Bitches...
Glamour Whore...xoxo

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Waking up Naked in strange bed with a Hangover and no memory of how you got there.

Waking up Naked in strange bed with a Hangover and no memory of how you got there.  

Bed and sleeping with people is always a problem and as I always say Sleeping with another girl does not always mean you are a lesbian sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing.

So back to waking up naked in strange bed with a hangover and no memory of how you got there, every drinking girls nightmare, along with the worry of were you left your clothes.

So you slowly open your eyes and painfully look around a strange room which from the décor shouts rather too loudly of cheap motel …….and the way your head feel it says it  far too laud  even if it whispered it.

A cheap nylon sheet is covering you …….er ………..and that is all you have covering you ………. A fur coat would have been nice …….shut up …….you don’t mind who I kill and eat but you object to me liking fur ….huh………….you humans are so odd if I said a human corpse covering you would not have cared !!!

Is it all that is covering you …er…yes you check twice and a single piece of coloured cord around ones wrist does not count! Supporting the local cat’s home is very charitable but does not count as clothing.

So what happens next?


1.                  A man leaves some money on the bed side table as he puts on his trousers and leaves …………

Action: ……….you scream ……………. What just  $20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.                  You turn to one side and see a naked man and two naked female fashion models in bed with you   

Action: Roll over and go back to sleep you are ether in some guys dream or if real with the fashion models in bed with you than you know your honour is quite safe.

3.                  There is Eric the vampire from true blood in next to you in bed

Action: ………….. Pounce on him ….he is not going to get away again!

4.                  You notice the room is empty apart from a pile of female clothes which are not yours.

Action :………. ….You know that no matter how short the skirt is you will go without underwear today as there is just no way you are ever going to put on another persons used underwear!

5.                  You look down and see you are now a guy You have changed sex during the night !!!! And then you hear a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again?.

Action:……………. Hope whatever the new extra bits you have know what they are going to do with out you having to order an owner’s manual from Amazon, but then as you stare at what is between your legs and now you more fear that the bigger problem will be trying to fit back into the micro dress you had on last night

6.                  You look down and you are still female but you hear a female voice near by asked how was it for you and shall we do it again.

Action: ……………. Telling her you have a headache only works on guys so you look on the bright side no matter what went on its now too late and turn to her thinking at least you won’t get pregnant.

7.                  You look down at your hand and discover a gold band on your wedding finger and snoring coming from someone near you in bed.

Action………………. Panic ! all you can remember are day glow cocktails with strange names like oblivion and something so pretty that it could not be alcoholic………. You can only remember talking to two people last night 1. a long distant truck driver who got his tattoos while in jail and 2. the bartender you are really praying it is the bartender next to you and then you remember the bartender was female and remembering the tattoos still pray it is the bartender!

8.                  You look around the empty room and remember that you booked yourself in last night just after being sick over the guy you fancied and you did not even remember eating peas. But he refused to take you home so you crashed here.

Action:……………….You pray to all the gods you know thanking them for the pounding head and the feeling of still wanting to be sick as it could have been far worse!


Guess what I have just had my first book interview ……. Weeeeeeeeeeeee  have I told you before ……….. well tough I am telling you again it is by blog !

Here is the link …….so take a look:



My book is now on sale please click below to see details: