I have seen you naked !

I have seen you naked !

Yes well before we get onto that I have only ever had two bad reviews on my book and this is the worst one, so just to prove as an author I do not hide bad reviews from you.  I will of course make comments on the review as I am hard to shut up even at the best of times.

The book was fair. It was a little too free with the talk of sex, which isn't something I was really expecting from it. Like, sex being okay on the first date. I might be a prude, or my morals are just different.. but that was pretty off-putting for me. 

Now this must be from someone who has never read my blogs …..and believe me compared to my blog the book is veryyyyyyyyyy mild on the subject of sex, and no it is not just me saying it take a look at this video clip review on the book.

What it says about dating is that unlike human girls are a different species and like normal creatures we can only get pregnant when on heat which happens about once every 10 to 20 years.

Where as with humans rabbits come and take lessons from what they get up to!

So sex is not so important an issue with us apart from the turned undead vampires …………ex humans …….. heck these are the ones you see in vampire movies and jump on the first guy they see after getting turned ………… personally I think a bit sluttish but as long as I don’t have to step over them doing it, then who am I to complain.  

A few lines were repeated occasionally, such as the mention of cats being higher rank than her.

Yes at the start under my status and also I expect under C for cat, plus a drawing of my Tarquin looking soooooooo cute in a jumper my aunt knitted him. No fur so he gets cold poor thing.  

I noticed at least one editorial error. 

Yes at least one and someone else said they found two, which with my spelling is almost a miracle of perfection

It was an all right book, that being the case.. I have read better written fanfiction.

Ok can’t say anything on this as I am not even sure what fanfiction is so looked it up and added the meaning to the end of this blog .............. er no as I am the author and not writting about another authors work it is not fanfiction unless i am a fan of myself?

It's probably something that would get by with sex-crazed teenagers, but I prefer something with a little more substance is all.

Ho yes ! sex crazed teenagers is just who it is aimed at !so I got that bit correct.

As to a little more substance ? from a book with a title of “A Girls Guide to being a Vampire”  ho well all I can say is please read my book it is funny giving the reader lots of the odd rules a vampire as to follow and has some sexual innuendo as it talks about the same stuff teens talk of.  

Now today I have found some funny little video clips talking about guys dicks, and no I do not want any more pics of them.

  

A Woman's Perspective on Penis Pics

A Woman's Perspective on Penis Size, Part 2

Some folk on Facebook are a little weird one left me a comment that he has seen me naked, er………. Even my cartoonist has at most only seen me in a two piece swimming costume, ho and she did a lovely one of me on a beach which I have had framed.

“I Have Seen You Naked”  Yes this comment was posted by a wanker …………. And he even sent me proof of being a wanker!  Yes you guessed I had yet another pic of a dick sent to me.

What is it with guys and taking photos of their dicks and then posting them to girls they don’t even know …………… perhaps its a new technological age flasher movement. 

It really is a mistake to think sending me a dick pic is a way to pull a girl, not again I thought, just another guy trying to impress me ……er…….. it has a subtext on size! Like if that is 14cm I think he needs to buy a new ruler, either that or he must have hands the size of a gorilla ! 

Like it does not do anything for me apart from prove to me that he is a wanker …………. Heck he just sent me a photo to prove it !………………. so wanker is that it? That is your idea of romance? Send me a dick pic with your hands on it yep you’re a wanker all right.

Look at the film clips, what she says in the film is so true, to impress a girl send her chocolates or at least a copy of your bank balance, in any case all dicks in my company should be looking like a bald headed guy wearing a roll top jumper, if not then the owner must be gay.

To finish off look at what I have found under dicks in Islam ……….Youtube has a lot to answer for ………….

Just how can this be real ……..just listen to what is being said and then tell me if some religious books really don't need to updated.

Wife must comply to husband's sexual desires

 

Fan fiction meaning from Wickipeadia

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Contents [hide] 1 History 1.1 Precursors 1.2 Modern phenomenon 1.3 Japanese dōjinshi 2 Categories and types 2.1 Relationship to canon 2.2 Romantic or sexual pairings 2.3 Genres and tropes 2.3.1 Kinks 2.4 Crossovers 2.5 Length 2.6 Ratings 3 Story creation in the online era 4 Interactivity in the online era 5 Legality 6 See also 7 References 7.1 Notes 8 Further reading 9 External links

Fan fiction (alternately referred to as fanfiction, fanfic, FF, or fic) is a broadly-defined term for fan labor regarding stories about characters (or simply fictional characters) or settings written by fans of the original work, rather than by the original creator. Works of fan fiction are rarely commissioned or authorized by the original work's owner, creator, or publisher; also, they are almost never professionally published. Because of this, many fanfics written often contain a disclaimer stating that the creator of the fanfic owns none of the characters. Fan fiction, therefore, is defined by being both related to its subject's canonical fictional universe and simultaneously existing outside the canon of that universe.^[1] Most fan fiction writers assume that their work is read primarily by other fans, and therefore tend to presume that their readers have knowledge of the canon universe (created by a professional writer) in which their works are based.
Media scholar Henry Jenkins explains the correlation between transmedia storytelling and fan fiction:

The encyclopedic ambitions of transmedia texts often results in what might be seen as gaps or excesses in the unfolding of the story: that is, they introduce potential plots which can not be fully told or extra details which hint at more than can be revealed. Readers, thus, have a strong incentive to continue to elaborate on these story elements, working them over through their speculations, until they take on a life of their own. Fan fiction can be seen as an unauthorized expansion of these media franchises into new directions which reflect the reader's desire to "fill in the gaps" they have discovered in the commercially produced material.^[2]

Serenity's Book Corner: Fangs Rule A Girl's Guide to being a Vampire by Am...

Serenity's Book Corner: Fangs Rule A Girl's Guide to being a Vampire by Am...: "Summary of the book: The book: FANGS RULE a girl' s guide to being a vampire …. is a young Adult book for anyone between Puberty and Se..."

Sexy Hot Wet Naked Vampire Has a Way to Excite You Today

Sexy Hot Wet Naked Vampire Has a Way to Excite You Today

Yes that’s me! A hot wet sexy naked vampire and boy do I have something for you !................

Er ………. Yes I was so hot trying to save money by not switching the aircon on that I have just had a shower and my hair is still damp, I was told I was sexy last week by this guy and………well that is all I am saying.

Naked? Yes I am naked …..well under my PJs I am, look my cat is male and gives me funny looks if I walk about furless ………………. But I am naked under the PJ’s ……… well I call them PJ’s but I do not sleep in them as they are in pure silk and a gift.

Silk is like so heavenly wearing against naked skin …………… not that it is any point telling a guy this, Guys believe that thongs are sexy as if having ones personal rainforest trying to escape ether side of a thin strip of material is anything more than looking like some ruin being taken over by an Amazonian Jungle.

No to the girls I can say it is a two piece in pure silk, the bottom part in blood read is held up by a gold silk belt, the top is also in blood red silk and is a pull over having one gold cord button at the neck, the trim is of gold………………  

Look if you are bored just go away ! I like it so there!!! …….on the front is has a gold dragon with its tongue sticking out as if it is trying to lick my left nipple………… .so must have been designed by a Guy.

As to excite you I have news that my book is now on KINDLE ! and not just the text but also the artwork can be viewed on your Amazon Kindle thingy ……………..

If you like to read my blogs then you will love the book as it is me telling of all the funny and sexy stuff that can happen to a teenage vampire girl, from sleeping overnight packing to surfaces best for making out with a guy ………you can now download this anywhere in the world from Amazon !!!!

SEE THE FIRST SECTION FREE AND IN COLOUR ON YOUR COMPUTER

Amazon gives a free taster of my book to read that can be uploaded to your Computer in full colour or direct to your Kindle…………… all free …..

Amazon UK

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fangs-Rule_-Girls-Vampire-ebook/dp/B0058ODPFK/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309553691&sr=1-3

Amazon USA

http://www.amazon.com/Fangs-Rule_-Girls-Vampire-ebook/dp/B0058ODPFK/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309568521&sr=1-2

I will give you a link to Amazon, but if you would like a hardcopy I can do it signed and post free to anywhere in the world……….

http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Just read the reviews on my book…….. Don’t just believe me read what other say on it …….. .it is very funny ……………sexy and funny ……….. instructions on how to climb a wall wearing a nightdress and giving ways to stop guys looking up between your legs as you climb ………………  look in vampire films this is so overlooked and yet so important ………you are a vampire not a pole dancer !!!!!!  

 

Dressing up as a French Maid and tieing a guy naked to a bed

Hummmmmmmmmm todays blog? Or should I say todays moan.

Now I like Guys ……… ok so mostly with tomato sauce but ……….. it’s a start …………. Look I’m a vampire and well if someone tastes good then it is gods will that they should die …………..er of course that is correct ……

….. god says unto man go forth and multiple ……

… god says unto Vampire.. Lunch is served !!!!!

Not that we the vampire race are that much into gods and such like.

Just think of ancestor worship ……….. like so many of my ancestors are still walking around ! ………….

………. Not so much needing to pray to them with incense for guidance and advice but more like sending them an Email !!

And your new human religions are ………. Well how can we listen to the holy advice written down from a prophet that one of your older relatives chatted to…………  and brings up the same funny story of his meeting with him in the desert every family gathering!

…boring….. saying the only wise thing he could remember him for was the way he passed wind loudly and blamed it on the camel.

It is stupidity in the male gender that gets me ……… they should know their place…………er……………tied to a bed waiting to satisfy me.

Human males are stupid but then again so are some male vampires …………… perhaps it’s the lack of blood to the brain every time they get excited………….  

One often hears stories around the nest of what some stupid male is doing or has done……..

Just because a male is 5 time stronger than a female they get it in their stupid heads that they are in control !

They have all the human females they can eat ……. And yet they just want to play with their food. ……… “You did what to her?! Well I’m not touching her now you pervert!”

Dumb males………… next they step up to a female vampire and drop their pants as if to impress us

………….. Impress a female vampire by dropping ones pants?! Like our hunger and sharp teeth would make a shawl of Piranha fish envious and they drop their pants in front our face, as if we were some sex staved human female …..huh………..

I once heard of a male that was so stupid he told his wife that she no was no longer exciting him in bed and that if she did not do something he would go else where………

………. Of course she took it to heart and tried her best to please him …………..

She dressed up as a French maid and lovingly removed his clothes before tieing him to the bed ……………… she then slowly removed her clothes until all she was wearing was a smile……… the effect on him was obvious …………. And he could not believe his luck when she then started covering his private parts with honey…..

….yes that night their relationship changed ………..

…….. Ho yes I forgot to say …….. she then left the room and returned with a bees nest which she placed it on his chest …………. Before leaving again saying as she left that she was going out with her girlfriends and would see him in the morning …………..

As far as I remember he never complained about his sex life being boring ever again………. And in fact some of the extra swellings from the stings made his wife very happy.

AlliKatNya Sings Paperback Writer - The Beatles

What else can I moan about?..........how yes remember when I said an author should never complain about someone that reviews their book in a negative way………as every one see something different in a book……..……well I have changed my mind  …………

 Looking on Gooreads I see someone had only given me one star on reading my book “The Night Eternal”  

…….er………………….

.... like how? I have not even finished writing it yet !!!! and it is not coming out until next year ......

I have heard about people prejudging about ………… but heck let me write it first !!!!!

His profile does not take corrisondence so if any one knows him tell him to read a book before scoring it !

On goodreads he is known as “ebook Fan”

  

ebook Fan's Profile

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·                                      #18 top users detailsMale, Bandung, 12345, Indonesia

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The Ramblings of Amy: Author Interview: Fangs Rule by Amy Mah

The Ramblings of Amy: Author Interview: Fangs Rule by Amy Mah: " I have recently joined Mystical Book Blog Tours , and will be a host to authors as they do their book tours. Today I have a special guest..."

Amy Mah Vampire

Photo

Religious rules no 1 …er…Don’t Upset the Muslims

Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire

Take a look at the blog hall of fame and follow in Twitter:

http://twitter.com/#!/Publishedworld/published-world

A Nice place to visit take a look

http://www.publishedworld.com/index.php?page=book&id=165

Look it is not my fault ……blame the education system …………. Here I can a nice sweet lovable Asian Vampire and I have to write papers on current mythology ……….. and then someone moans that I put Islam on the list ………… well it is a belief system the same as the 100s of others that it followed on from………….. no one says anything of having Scientologists on a list of Pseudo religions

……………… Look if you want me to do lists I have to stick something on them

……………… and I did notice no one objected to any list I put Scientologists on………being on list of Cults was ok but then .. I worry even more so when I mistakenly put it as a Religion most likely to take over from Judaism .er………well lots of members in high government and media positions…………. Yes that is now a worry

I study hard to be a nice educated vampire ……which is so hard what with being poor weak female… sob……. (and being super smart and modest … just think what I would say if I was not so modest) waiting to just to be owned by a loving male lord and master (huh .as.if !!!!)

But I do get moans every time I talk on Islam ……I discuss the oddities of most of them in current mythology but perhaps only being a new religion that had to get most of its Holy book for another religion they are a little insecure…… Look the Christians did the same ………… like the whole of the Old Testament but they don’t act all insecure over it ……………..

Someone said to me I am just female and my words are spoken in a vacuum ………. Er yes you guessed it Male and Muslim ………..

Someone should have noticed by now that the more you moan the more I will say …… The above comment was due to me saying that as a non Muslim I am more likely to go to Heaven than Muslims that break Gods commandments ……………

I have guidelines to live my life my but if you have a religion then you have rules and if knowingly you break them just don’t moan to me that you do not like spending your afterlife in HELL ……………

Religions come as a set meal you take all or nothing …………….. and the RULES are the SAME in all three be you ….Muslim …...Christian ….. or Jew  ……..

Read the words in the books ……………

If a holy learned person be they Priest or Inman tells you to kill in Gods name then they will go to hell ………….. if you follow his  (always a he) advice then you will go to hell ………… Look these are not my words ….read the book yourself!.......and yes I know you can cheery pick things like Smiting ones enemy but this could mean you as a nice strong male God have given you permission to protect your Wife and Children with force if needed……… it is pushing things a bit far to travel 10,000 mile just to kill someone else’s wife and children because you do not like his price of oil.

The same goes for other rules and you Guys should know by now that female discuss everything when together ………..er…………like everything ……….. hehehehehe if you have a pimple on your Dick you can bet the fact will be know throughout the whole female community ………… yes asking your mother to buy some ointment for it is the same as posting it on Youtube……..

So the same goes for adultery ……..the fallen woman in the affair may get killed in some places in the world but can still go to Heaven as she is only weak and was lead astray but as a Guy that’s it you are dammed ……….. its Hell for you as the meaning of a wife is anyone that has willingly laid with a man and born his children.

Mind you the same goes for having carnal knowledge er…that means sex  ……..with another mans Ox or Ass or Goat ………. Look if it is his and walking about just don’t do you pervert !  ……………… as to doing with your farm animals ………. Ick…(make that double ick !!) …. It is True and a God given fact that if you do you will go blind and your dick will turn green and drop off ..ok………….. if you don’t believe me ask your Mother …..hehehehehe I dare you !!!!!

Take a look at the blog hall of fame and follow in Twitter:

http://twitter.com/#!/Publishedworld/published-world

A Nice place to visit take a look

http://www.publishedworld.com/index.php?page=book&id=165

A Girls Guide to Guys: Meeting Them, Managing Them and All That Love Stuff

A Girls Guide to Guys: Meeting Them, Managing Them and All That Love Stuff

Gabby's blog http://gabby-guides.blogspot.com/ The unknown world of boys has been a problem that has plagued girl-kind for many a century.

Something different today my publisher has asked me to tell you all about what to do with a guy as if I need to tell you that !!!!!

What do you say to them? Which ones should you avoid? And what is going on in that little brain of theirs when they look at you? If only they came with a manual or something...

Well now they do! A lovely step by step guide that's split into easy stages, taking you from finding the right kind of boy for you right up to ending a relationship and starting all over again.



Wave goodbye to worrying about what kind of shoes to wear for a date or how to make the first move; it has all been covered. But how do you use this brilliant little tool? Well, if you want you can read through each chapter and follow the advice you find in it step by step.

But there's also a handy content list at the beginning of each stage so you can skip to any section you want to read about.

Keep a look out for sections called friends; these bits are dedicated to how to keep the balance between boyfriends and girlfriends. Also included is Outfits for all occasions, your very own boutique complete with personal stylist to make sure you get your right look every time. To begin with it would help if we found out a little bit more about those strange creatures we call boys. They can be a bit tricky to understand so it's best to liken them to something most girls know a little bit more about. Like shoes.

Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt.

There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical. Like shoe shopping, you need to get to know what's out there before you make your final purchase. Your first task, should you choose to accept it, is one of girl kind's most notable hobbies...with a twist...boy shopping!

To make things even easier, included here is the very first boy catalogue giving you an extensive look into all the boys on the market. Good luck and happy shopping!

A Vampire Kiss is like Hot Chocolate Dripping over Sensitive Skin ………

A Vampire Kiss is like Hot Chocolate Dripping over Sensitive Skin ………

Todays Title? Well I am feeling hungry

I Love having my book read…………. ………… look that is important to a writer ! …look if you don’t understand that forget about reading the rest of what I am saying.

A writer writes to be read ………ok maybe it is only read by ones Mom ……….but that still counts. ………….. and when you have a reader talk about things in your text, you just want to jump up and tell them ……….but alas the book has to stand on what it has in it without the author supplying a hot line to readers asking things like …………..How many pints of blood does a human body contain ……………….

Er……well at High School I was told 8 – 9 pints but it must so depend upon the size of the person ….er…..doesn’t it? ……………….

Look all I know is that suck it too fast and you get hiccups and the films are rubbish on draining a body …………… well after 6 pints you really need to wander off and take a piss and what vampire film ever tells you that details ?

I also love it when readers say about the not so nice side of vampires and trying to look for redeeming characteristics or are portrayed as sympathetic Characters ……… and not finding them in my world ……… Er ….no not in my world!

Well I have never said vampires are nice ……………. Pointing out genocide, murder and slavery is not nice………… er……..it so depends upon the culture and time you live in, and with a different species it is best not to look too close at the bad bits as sometimes its like looking into a mirror.

Genocide: killing off of vampires unsuitable for the vampire gene pool  ………….. Well it is a cultural thing in a vampire world and just look about the human world for nasty things done in the name of culture………….. and it is none of your business ok.

Murder:  killing of humans can not count as they are a different animal and if the type of killing is normal in a vampire society then it is not murder  ……think about it ……………humans have an army of solders which have to kill an enemy in time of war………to protect you………….are they committing murder in your name?  …………….

And so killing within a vampire society will have to follow the rules of that society and can only be called murder if that is what the society calls it ……….execution by the state………… justified homicide …………….. self defence ……… for similarities again look about the human world.

Slavery:  Undead turned vampires are a subclass and treated well …..we never call them slaves as such more like servants ………… they are Undead! …………. We are their masters and mistresses because we turned them ……………… they are Ex-human ….like being dead but still walking about ok? ………………. And the females are normally very happy for the sexual advances of a male …..Haven’t you ever watched a vampire film?  ………………

Personally I think Necrophilia is a bit of a perversion myself but with undead female vampires that does not seam to stop males Human or Vampire…………….. perverts !!!!

I love one reader that says:  that even if I say I love my maid, it is apparent that I act superior to her in everyway ………………….

Er……like she is undead and has been for the past 40 years …………..A live in maid ………… we supply all her blood needs ……plus a see-through nightdress without underwear……. She tells me she is quite happy and ……….well do you really wish me to set her free?.......  and let her …….out into the human world to kill nightly for her blood needs ………. like she is either a maid, an undead vampire maid or she is a human culling machine set on full slaughter mode…………..

Besides if she is out killing humans every night just who is going to run my bath and scrub my back? ……..see you did not even think of that did you ………humans are so uncaring at times !!!!

Want to know more? Then why not go out and buy my book,

FANGS RULE  By Amy Mah

Http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Female Vampires - Queen of Seduction – Eve

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP_2g0G9_pQ&feature=related

Read for your Future With Amy Mah Vampire

My Interview with Read for your Future

1.) Why did you Decide to write this book?

It all started when my publisher Nicholas Reardon of Reardon Publishing was looking for authors to write some paranormal novels, he wanted something funny and wanted a new undiscovered author, he even put little adverts on sites such as goodreads.

What was needed was a book with a new take the Vampire story and that is where I came in, the way I wrote the book is that I am living in this wonderful crazy world, so you get to know the world from my reaction to it.

Take a look at my blog and step into my world

http://amymahvampire.blogspot.com/

2.) How did the cover come about?

The front of the book has the title in dripping blood and shows me as a 18th century dressed vamp in a graveyard, where as the back is in modern clothing, designed by The Manga Artist Heby Sim and I think she has done a wonderful job of it.

3.) So what is your next project and can you tell us anything about a sequel to Fangs Rule?

My next project is a book called “The Night Eternal” and tells the story of my life as a teenage vampire, Fangs Rule a girls guide to being a vampire hints at what a strange world I live in and with my next book all the hints are explained as you will follow me slowly making my way in a world where biting someone can be a sign of affection!

4.) Do you have a daytime job or are you a writer full time?

Sometimes I feel that Facebook is my unpaid fulltime job, but I do other things until I can become a world famous and rich full time author.

5.) Do you read a lot and If so what?

Yes a lot…………… and I mean a lot my mind is always active and so I need a good book to relax with, it could be a funny vampire book or something deeper like the Art of War by Sun Tzu

6.) How did you learn to be a vampire? Were you taught?

Now you really do need to buy my book as it will explain all of this to you ……hehehehehe

Amazon has it

As does my own website for vampires: www.fangsrule.com

Ok here is a taste of what being a vampire is like:

…………….. Being A vampire sounds like it should be a cool thing to be as a teenage girl, like sleeping during the day and enjoying a night life with friends, huh……. no one warned me that it also meant having to suffer Teenage hormones for so long! I am stuck at a 16, yes 16 and the years may pass but I am the same age! Frozen in time until my so called loving vampire family think I am mature enough to let me grow up.

 

Being a vampire should be fun, I am a blood curdling denizen of the night and yet my Aunt paints my bedroom pink yes pink! And buys me underwear in the same yuck colour but with little bats on!!! as if I was 6!

 

And as to the rules, so many rules, and vampire uniforms! Guys have long fancy cloaks that they are always tripping over and as to the girls uniform, it is a 18th C Nightdress!

 

The old male vampires expect a girl to walk about wearing just a see through nightdress with no underwear on!! as if that is ever going to happen, they have really seen far too many horror films! And the next one to suggest it to me will get a very hard bite!

 

Life as a teenager is normally a living hell but even more so when you have fangs. The world is just out to get me, and not just by people trying to stake me because I have better teeth than they do!

One last thing. We ask all our guest authors Do you collect anything personally?

Well I have lots of vampire books and films but as to collecting well yes Anime films, I just love watching anime films and have hundreds so it must be a collection, I am sure it is where I get my very strange humor from.

Thank you sooo much Amy for taking the time to stop by our Read for your future website. I hope this interview has peaked your curiousity to get the book to learn more about being a vampire. 

Our review will be posted soon. Im waiting for the space to post it so that it gets recognition. If you love vampire books then pick this one up to add to your collection. It is in mine!