Having my Ovaries massaged and lifting my skirt to show strangers what I have to show

Being a vampire is not always as fun as it sounds as we have to mix with humans and you are so odd !!!!

As a vampire I have problems with sunlight and I will tell you of my trip to Asia to see my human relatives the ones which brought me up as an orphan until I was discovered and taken back into vampire society,  hundreds of relatives I never heard of which seams to be normal in Asia.


I do not burst into flame but get terminal acne ………….. well …..it feels terminal it may not kill me just wish I was dead, and even with 1000 percent sun block cream and dark glasses I still suffer.


Asia is hot and sunny and not a good place during the day for my species  ………….. I am good with overcast days in the West but still I am not a full day walker nor a night walker (they have better eyesight and can take cold without getting a tummy chill) So I am an overcast walker and that sounds just crap, and so I suffer………er……  but  not necessarily in silence …..so but I will tell you more as I tried to pretend to be human and fit into your world.


So a nice cool night flight and then it hit me …………….. sun light !!!!!!!

 …As I said I suffer from heat rash due to being a vampire or in my case monstrous heat bumps  …….heat lumps ….. see as a vampire I can not take sun light 3 on my left foot and two on my right a mountain of one on my lower right leg.


And the worst on my right inner thigh one that was 1 inch dia and itched like hell another 3 inches dia of puffy skin around it from me scratching.


And I was now a guinea pig for testing herbal creams by unknown relatives……………… hell I am not used to lifting my skirt for every strange distant relative to take a look at it and rub something on it such as…………. Tiger Balm ….which burns then itches again leaving you with a now big brown itchy lump.


Now you know why I said I always feel like a child in both vampire society and human society  ……………. Who else do you know would have to raise their skirt to let a person one has never seen before …….. and without a doctors degree look up your skirt and make comments………….. Hell ok they say they are a relative …. But ………..oh embarrassing and ………. Well ……..there is me thinking daily that that I must wear my best underwear and perhaps should iron them first ……….  as I do not know who will want to look up my skirt today ! what ever society I live in I still feel like a child !

Like the day I sat on a chair that must have had some oil on it as it left a damp looking stain and my Aunt asked if I have had an accident !!! no it is oil!  see it is not drying !!   what frigging idiot would leave oil on a seat ?  

And then the time we had a short trip up to Siam I had a massage in my hotel from by a woman a foot taller than me and at least 40 ……………

Siam all over body Massaging should be relaxing it was not! ………… First no one told me an all over body massage was really all over and that I had to be naked!    Like why as the bits I would like to cover are bits that I do not want to be massaged, it is just like school …its aright you are all girls together  …………. Soooooooooooo  …………. Just because I have the same body parts I don’t have any urge to show them off ……….. besides at school I used to get so many comments about my bust …………… I’m Asian ! So I don’t look like a milk cow, but it is normal for my race !!    

It is common in Asia to have Breast enlargement massage at a look if you do not believe me .........and no I did not try it ............. why pay for that when any guy would do it free .............

asian breast massage

With the full body massage It is all bending, turning and rubbing, and foot stretching which means her putting a foot between my legs ………….. ok more like just a heel but just where my ovaries are ------the heel holds the leg in place for the foot stretching.

And it did not help when I was told it is very good for girls to be rubbed there as it helps make them more fertile !!!!  WHAT is it she is trying to do to me  ------- no way do I want my ovaries spiting out eggs daily.

I don’t know about being more fertile but the dull ache it left behind made me feel that I had been kicked in the groin.

Things on my list of not to do again is to have my ovaries massaged !………I still ache when I think of it ….. and the time she spent massaging my inner thighs and bottom made me think that a visit to a gynecologist would be less invasive.

Look I am sure people never believe what I say so take a look here:

Thai Massage Videos - 

As to being fertile I had already been flicked with holy water by a bald headed little old cross legged monk in yellow robes when I gave him a donation ………which then I was also told by another monk would help make me fertile when I married………. Just what is all this about me and my eggs? ………….

……………… As a single girl lack of fertility is not something I have need to worry about  …………… it has now just got me so worried ………… so any guy taking me out can forget about anything more than a kiss and as to him wearing a rubber …………. Yes a full neck to feet rubber wetsuit under his clothes even on a dinner date ………I am not taking any chances I am sure that little old monk winked at me ……….

You humans do not and I repeat do not live a normal LIFE !!!!!

I for one vampire will now going to stay in the West!

The next sexy massage I have must to be done by a naked guy! and preferably on his private schooner somewhere in the Caribbean. 

I have seen you naked !

I have seen you naked !

Yes well before we get onto that I have only ever had two bad reviews on my book and this is the worst one, so just to prove as an author I do not hide bad reviews from you.  I will of course make comments on the review as I am hard to shut up even at the best of times.

The book was fair. It was a little too free with the talk of sex, which isn't something I was really expecting from it. Like, sex being okay on the first date. I might be a prude, or my morals are just different.. but that was pretty off-putting for me. 

Now this must be from someone who has never read my blogs …..and believe me compared to my blog the book is veryyyyyyyyyy mild on the subject of sex, and no it is not just me saying it take a look at this video clip review on the book.

What it says about dating is that unlike human girls are a different species and like normal creatures we can only get pregnant when on heat which happens about once every 10 to 20 years.

Where as with humans rabbits come and take lessons from what they get up to!

So sex is not so important an issue with us apart from the turned undead vampires …………ex humans …….. heck these are the ones you see in vampire movies and jump on the first guy they see after getting turned ………… personally I think a bit sluttish but as long as I don’t have to step over them doing it, then who am I to complain.  

A few lines were repeated occasionally, such as the mention of cats being higher rank than her.

Yes at the start under my status and also I expect under C for cat, plus a drawing of my Tarquin looking soooooooo cute in a jumper my aunt knitted him. No fur so he gets cold poor thing.  

I noticed at least one editorial error. 

Yes at least one and someone else said they found two, which with my spelling is almost a miracle of perfection

It was an all right book, that being the case.. I have read better written fanfiction.

Ok can’t say anything on this as I am not even sure what fanfiction is so looked it up and added the meaning to the end of this blog .............. er no as I am the author and not writting about another authors work it is not fanfiction unless i am a fan of myself?

It's probably something that would get by with sex-crazed teenagers, but I prefer something with a little more substance is all.

Ho yes ! sex crazed teenagers is just who it is aimed at !so I got that bit correct.

As to a little more substance ? from a book with a title of “A Girls Guide to being a Vampire”  ho well all I can say is please read my book it is funny giving the reader lots of the odd rules a vampire as to follow and has some sexual innuendo as it talks about the same stuff teens talk of.  

Now today I have found some funny little video clips talking about guys dicks, and no I do not want any more pics of them.

  

A Woman's Perspective on Penis Pics

A Woman's Perspective on Penis Size, Part 2

Some folk on Facebook are a little weird one left me a comment that he has seen me naked, er………. Even my cartoonist has at most only seen me in a two piece swimming costume, ho and she did a lovely one of me on a beach which I have had framed.

“I Have Seen You Naked”  Yes this comment was posted by a wanker …………. And he even sent me proof of being a wanker!  Yes you guessed I had yet another pic of a dick sent to me.

What is it with guys and taking photos of their dicks and then posting them to girls they don’t even know …………… perhaps its a new technological age flasher movement. 

It really is a mistake to think sending me a dick pic is a way to pull a girl, not again I thought, just another guy trying to impress me ……er…….. it has a subtext on size! Like if that is 14cm I think he needs to buy a new ruler, either that or he must have hands the size of a gorilla ! 

Like it does not do anything for me apart from prove to me that he is a wanker …………. Heck he just sent me a photo to prove it !………………. so wanker is that it? That is your idea of romance? Send me a dick pic with your hands on it yep you’re a wanker all right.

Look at the film clips, what she says in the film is so true, to impress a girl send her chocolates or at least a copy of your bank balance, in any case all dicks in my company should be looking like a bald headed guy wearing a roll top jumper, if not then the owner must be gay.

To finish off look at what I have found under dicks in Islam ……….Youtube has a lot to answer for ………….

Just how can this be real ……..just listen to what is being said and then tell me if some religious books really don't need to updated.

Wife must comply to husband's sexual desires

 

Fan fiction meaning from Wickipeadia

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Contents [hide] 1 History 1.1 Precursors 1.2 Modern phenomenon 1.3 Japanese dōjinshi 2 Categories and types 2.1 Relationship to canon 2.2 Romantic or sexual pairings 2.3 Genres and tropes 2.3.1 Kinks 2.4 Crossovers 2.5 Length 2.6 Ratings 3 Story creation in the online era 4 Interactivity in the online era 5 Legality 6 See also 7 References 7.1 Notes 8 Further reading 9 External links

Fan fiction (alternately referred to as fanfiction, fanfic, FF, or fic) is a broadly-defined term for fan labor regarding stories about characters (or simply fictional characters) or settings written by fans of the original work, rather than by the original creator. Works of fan fiction are rarely commissioned or authorized by the original work's owner, creator, or publisher; also, they are almost never professionally published. Because of this, many fanfics written often contain a disclaimer stating that the creator of the fanfic owns none of the characters. Fan fiction, therefore, is defined by being both related to its subject's canonical fictional universe and simultaneously existing outside the canon of that universe.^[1] Most fan fiction writers assume that their work is read primarily by other fans, and therefore tend to presume that their readers have knowledge of the canon universe (created by a professional writer) in which their works are based.
Media scholar Henry Jenkins explains the correlation between transmedia storytelling and fan fiction:

The encyclopedic ambitions of transmedia texts often results in what might be seen as gaps or excesses in the unfolding of the story: that is, they introduce potential plots which can not be fully told or extra details which hint at more than can be revealed. Readers, thus, have a strong incentive to continue to elaborate on these story elements, working them over through their speculations, until they take on a life of their own. Fan fiction can be seen as an unauthorized expansion of these media franchises into new directions which reflect the reader's desire to "fill in the gaps" they have discovered in the commercially produced material.^[2]

Paranormal Romance Guild book review on Vampire books

Just had a book review by the Paranormal Romance Guild, not the best of reviews but then as a kinda negative review it is not that bad.

Everyone and I mean everyone sees something different when reading a book, remember when at school you had to analyze a book plot and well my ideas were never the same as the teachers ……………….. or other students ……..er……. or the authors …………… but then I always scored well on creative thinking.

I found the same problem at University and remember attending a weird save the world uni group, I was the only one that supported killing off sections of the populations so that we could feed the rest ……… er…. So? Well it would work ………….. I did not say it would be popular but nor is taxation.

Well here is the book review and yes I know as an author you should not comment on someone’s review but heck I wrote the darn thing so if anyone should have a say it me!

As I said as a negative review it not too bad anyway I have added a few helpful comments so read on:

Amy Mah is a teen vampire, and she has compiled an A to Z journal of what the rules are for teenage vampires. If I were a teenaged vampire, I’m sure this journal would be extremely helpful. Since I’m not – not so much. My impression is this is what a spoiled rich kid would sound like if she were a vampire.

Er Vampire …top of the food chain, and an Alpha female at that, so a far superior creature compared to turnlings and Famula, etc so reading it as a human a spoiled rich kid sums it up well, and yes being a human reviewer can be a problem, but try not to worry too much not everyone can be at the top of the food chain. 

With topics starting with Abomination (a swear word used to insult another vampire), Age, Alpha (top Vamps, best families – they rule the place) and ending with X-abilities (flying, having a tail and just racial memories), Yawn (fastest way to extend your fangs) and Zombies (Zombies, Werewolves and Vampires do not hang out together) – they have nothing in common.

Ms. Mah leads the reader through all the important facts a girl vampire needs to know to be successful living the vamp life. Per Ms. Mah, whose full vampire name is: Lady Amelia, Mistress of the Night Mare and Alpha Female from the Family of the Pink Bat, she was raised in the human world and not discovered and adopted by the Pink Bat family until she was a teen. Hence the journal, so that she could remember all the rules.

True, so true, you would not believe the trouble you can get into by biting one of the human security team that protects the nest in daylight hours, it is like having a chocolate placed on your tongue and told to ignore it, like that’s going to happen.  

The topic is definitely cute but I found it difficult to become involved in all the rules and regs, since there was no background other than the above for Ms. Mah.

Weeeeeeeee I love the idea of being a cute vampire, O just the topic not me .er……sorry ….ok read on

I’ve read many books that provide background on characters and the whys and why not’s of their actions, but I’ve always had an interest and an imagined investment in that character. If I had read a story about how Amy was raised by humans who thought she was anemic or had a blood disorder, the journal would have been more interesting, because I would want to know more about Amy because I liked her character. As it is, there are a lot of snippets of information on her life and pictures of relatives, friends and fashions but I’m not able to connect the dots into any kind of plot.

You have got your wish, this book is on all the funny rules and regulations hehehehe this book has no plot as it is a guide book, hence the title: A Girls guide to being a vampire ……but my next work fills in all the background as it is a full novel and not a guide like this one, the Novel is called “The Night Eternal” and will give you the reason why this book is so needed when dealing with other vampires. ………………. Er… and why good fitting underwear is needed.

The film clip is from Blood:The Last Vampire - Saya Fight Scene ……………. As I have always said vampires are not nice, and fights like this shows why a a nice vampire girl needs good cumfy undies ……you try doing this sort of thing in a THONG!

The topics are all great/funny but I’m not sure of the age group this is intended to reach. I definitely think any reader should be at least 16 and over. There are sexual references, comments about being in heat (that’s how they get pregnant) killing humans for their identity and human pets (converted humans who become sexual slaves and later become maids – Famula, after their vamp master gets tired of them). Depending on the reader, some of this could be offensive.

Age? Well everyone tells me it is young adult reading but then that covers readers up into the early 20s check my review page http://www.fangsrule.com/review.htm you will see what 13 year old girls write and say about it, it is so much to do with the culture background of the reader, sex is only hinted, not all adults notice the innuendo but teenagers do……….. so far no one has complained about the section on arranged marriages in vamp society and the dominance of the male in the family….being born in SE Asia my cultural views also come into play and yes where I was born it is very normal to have maids.

There were a few typos but nothing bothersome. The font (a handwriting font) was difficult to work through, but I do understand that this is for a younger reader and it would not bother them. The illustrations are very well done and provide some imagery for the topics.

Ho God yes, I found only one typo myself after it was printed but knowing my writing I am sure a few could be hiding.  

This would definitely be enjoyable for some readers; it simply did not capture my interest.

Never mind you can’t like everything you read, and my book is not the normal run of the mill type of book to read ……………………  And you still have my novel to look forward to ……………….

Reviewed by Charleen Bailey

Member of the Paranormal Romance Guild

---

True Blood by Danielle & Christy Vampire Awareness Month VAM10

True Blood by Danielle & Christy Vampire  Awareness Month VAM10

Now this is another TV Series that I love, from the music that is so cool to Eric the blond and very sexy Viking Vampire.

We absolutely LOVE  True Blood. We love it enough to pay an extra 10 bucks a month for the HBO channels ONLY during True Blood season :) We were completely thrown off at first with all the differences between the books and the show, but we have not only come to adjust to them, but also look forward to them. We get excited about what is going to happen next, and we hate having to wait an entire week to see what is going on with our favorite characters, which is almost all of them by the way!

-          Danielle & Christy http://middleoftheroadreviews.blogspot.com/

-         

Q1-

So they say that the Sookie in the show is a lot different from the Sookie in the book, personality wise. What do you guys think?

D- well… I don't know about that, I mean in the books she is so kick ass, I practically devoured each and every one I got. She is a bit guarded and kind of keeps to herself r a lot of the time due to the fact that she is 'small town' and people think she is a little crazy. But she only seems that way in the beginning of the series.  Also in the first season of True Blood she comes off as kind of naive, but as the seasons progress she totally out grows that and will tell someone off in a heartbeat!!

C-I have to agree mostly. Sookie is very different in the first season than I perceived her to be in the first book. I also think that she grows with the series and has grown out of some of the “naïve” although I think that she could still be a little tougher toward some people. It seems to me that she is still soft when it comes to certain other characters while with others she has toughened up.

Q2-

Do you think they should stick to the script and have Sookie and Eric eventually hook up, or do you think the flirting coming from Alicide is going to go any further??

D- well, since I am a Team Vampire type of girl, I really want them to stick to the script and have Sookie and Eric hooking up. Hell I want them to cast me and I will gladly hook up with Eric :) teehee

C-I always wanted Sookie to be with Alcide when I was reading the books, and it kind of  disappointed me when she just blew him off. He is such a good guy and Eric is just…well…an egotistical ass J

Q3-

Do you think they are ever going to introduce Bubba into the show? Do you feel they should?

D- No, I don't think they are going to. If they were it would have already happened. I mean he is a pretty loved character from the books and should be on screen by now. I wish they had brought him to life, but no I don't feel they should bring him in now.

C-Um…DUH…I really want them to introduce Bubba! He was so much fun in the books! I was honestly looking forward to meeting him on screen J but I have to agree with Danielle, I think that if they were going to introduce him they would have already.

Q4-

As of the last episode of True Blood, we discovered that Tara is bisexual. Did either of you see that coming?

D- absolutely NOT... OMG I was freaked.. I mean it is something that is kind of expected considering everything she has been thru, but I was like DAMN MAN, lol… It only adds to her character being so unbelievably unpredictable, and I LOVE IT.

C-I was completely dumbfounded! I never saw that one coming! I stood up and screamed at my TV “What the Heck? OMG I can’t believe that!”

We hope that if you haven’t watched True Blood or read the books you will consider starting NOW! A lot of people say that the series is just “soft core porn” and we totally see where they can get this idea but it is an amazing series. Ms. Charlaine Harris is a very talented author and we are so glad we were introduced to her books. Even more so that they made a TV series out of them J

the Anime Vampire Series review BOOD + Plus by Stavros VAM09

Hi today we have blood + I have seen a bit of it on Youtube but would like to see more and so I will buy the series when out as a complete series on dvd today Stavros tell you all about it.

 I have seen the anime film about Saya called Blood the last vampire and that was excellent and as for the feature film with real actors …………wow ………now that one is soooooooo coolllllllll one of the very best vampire films I have seen, but I digress …let the blood flow……………………

 

 

Blood+

Blood Plus follows the supernatural exploits of a seemingly ordinary school girl, who just so happens to be a vampire, that hunts down and destroys Chiropterans.  Chropterans are bat-like, werewolf creatures that feed on human blood, and Saya Otonashi is the only one who can kill them.  With merely faint allusions to the sensational 2000 anime movie, Blood - The Last Vampire, this half-hour anime television show isn’t a continuation of that story, but rather a full re-imagining.  The name of the main character, Saya, remains the same and she hunts down these vicious metamorphosing killers, but there really is very little that would make anyone believe that she is a vampire…or that the show is a spin off from the noir horror classic.

To be fair to the show, I can not compare them.  It would be like discerning the likes and dislikes of apples and oranges.  Blood+ isn’t bad.  It’s rather awesome actually, but I want all die-hard fans of the anime movie to know up front and personal-like that the TV show is not like the movie…at all.

In this re-imaging Saya is an adopted teenager living with amnesia.  Her adopted brothers Kai and Riku, and the faithful, cello-totting chevalier, Haji, aid her on her quests to make the world a safer place for a powerful organization known as Red Shield.  Armed with her Katana, Saya must sacrifice her own blood onto the blade before it will kill the rancid beasts.  Like any good anime the fight scenes are incredible, graphic, and taught with tension as Saya journeys to rediscover who and what she is.

My only beef with the show is that Saya was born in1833 and during the Vietnam War she entered a hypnotic blood trance and killed not only Chiropterans, but humans alike, thus starting her amnesic spell, and since then hasn’t aged.  Okay, I get the part where its cool to see a cutely drawn character in a school uniform kicking ass, but she’s been a teenager for well over a hundred and sixty years.  Kinda smacks a little on the perverted Twilight side, if you ask me.  But if you can get past the logistics of her age and the fact that she’s been in high school longer than Edward then you are going to get involved in a great show. 

Blood+ is rich with drama, emotional strain, and endearing characters.  It may not slip easily into the vampire genre, as Saya doesn’t conform to the traditional trappings of being nocturnal, having fangs, or needing to drink blood on a regular basis, it does, however, posses its own mythology.  Though, the show is geared more toward a younger audience don’t let that put you off.  Good anime is hard to find, and Blood+ delivers the goods.  Available on Netflix and Hulu, all four seasons of Blood+ are bound into two self-contained parts, ready for streaming or home delivery. 

Written by Stavros     www.bitemereallyhard.com

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