Apart from being a vampire I think out of the things I do to worry people is …….well how I answer interview questions …………..
Ever since my book has come out I have been interviewed by lots of different humans and heck I was not told that I should lie!
I am sure people have been taking Twilight too seriously and so being too honest can get a strange look or two from the interviewer. Yes, blood is best served fresh and warm preferably from its human contained ………..
Just why are they shocked by my answers …………
Don’t these people go to the movies?
Look if you are doing an author interview it may be best not to be so surprised when they
answer your questions ………….. I do try and keep it nice and warm and cuddly
……….. but heck I am a vampire just who do you think you are interviewing the tooth fairy? ………
I know I can worry people when they ask:
So as teenage vampire author please tell our readers the sort of things you like ...........................
Ok, ok, So I should say Chocolate and Cats which is true as I do …
…….but sometimes I tend to give away a little too much personal stuff……..
………and I say things like:
The sound a blade makes as it cuts the air, so nice er…. Like silk……… sigh……….. (well ask someone who uses a blade they will explain it to you …………… but it is a nice and sexy sound)
Then there is the feel of a well balanced blade in your hand, as it becomes part of your body as you turn and spin ……….
By the way it is wrist and finger control whichgives one the little playful moves.
did you know you can always test someone who says they can use a samurai sword by asking what noise in makes when returning to its sheath................
...................... but I do not know how it makes the sound...... can anyone tell me that?
Ho well get ready for the next interview and hopefully this time I will remember when they ask if I had a wish what would it be I should say I wish for world peace …..er…….and not what I said last time ……………..
Well how was I to know that saying how about a nice big bag of Blood Diamonds would upset so many people ………such a nice colourful name ………… ok I will have rubies instead …………
What is Wrong with Wearing Real Fur and Blood Diamonds?
As I have said it many times you humans are an odd lot, ………
Just what is wrong with wearing real fur and blood diamonds? You are normally so keen on killing members of your own species why get so hot and bothered over killing animals to wear real fur …………like have you felt how soft mink is…………sigh………………
And as to blood diamonds if fashion models can forget even being given them ………forget being given diamonds !!!!! …….they must be over paid! ......... So why can't an author have some? I would remember and even thank you afterwards………… look send it with the mink coat and save on postage.
Do I wear animal skins? Of course I do !!!!
I have shoes and gloves made from Cows,…. er…………. Pigs, Goats, Crocodiles and Cows have died for my bag collection ………….. but it is ok to kill them as they do not look cute like a mink…………. Cute!!! The little blighters would take your fingers off given half a chance…………. And you eat the meat ………….. ok …just when has anyone eaten Crocodile? Er……Thought not.
A Vampire should dress well in smart clothes normally all tight black leather and expensive gems as the humans we attack appreciate being eaten by a well dressed vampire wearing 50k of diamonds.
Me? ............... Well I have to suffer hunting in jeans and a tee ………. Look do you know how hard it is to get blood out of a white tee? No? ……well it is hard work !!!!
And jeans may look cool but are not comfy when you get all bloated…………..
Why don’t guys suffer from getting bloated? Any girl can tell you the need to undo the top button on the jeans or live with the idea of the maker’s label being permanently embossed onto one tummy.
Undead vampire have it easy they live on just blood and adsorb it into the body where as being a living vamp after 7 – 8 pints of blood not only am I bloated but in desperate need to take a piss and do you care ……..heck no all you are interested in is going out trying to protect those darn finger eating mink !!!!
