Fangs Rule Vampire Book Reviews

Fangs Rule Reviews

If you are tired of the constant barrage of teen Twilight-esque vampire thrillers and need a break from the norm, then Amy Mah's Fangs Rule is the vampire guide for you. Written in the very naturalistic style of an angst-ridden teenager, Fangs Rule is a book designed for teens, be they 6 years old or 600 years old.

Amy is a vampire who is almost 400 years passed her thirteenth birthday, but her well-observed insights show a vampire who still suffers the growing pains as much, if not more, than her human counterparts.

Imagine living in a cave that your Gran has decided would suit you if it was painted in pink? Imagine having underwear delivered that was decorated in drawings of bats - again bright pink! Try to tell yourself how you would reveal fangs without seeming rude and stand-offish to your neighbour! All these avenues and more are explored in the funny and incisive world of Amy Mah.

Accompanying the text are the cute drawings from noted Manga artist, Heby Sim, perfectly complementing each and every nuance uttered by this young, all-knowing heroine. It is probably one of the most perfect collaborations ever in a children's book. Oops! Did I say Children? Yes, it could be described as a child's story, on the surface, but if you care to dig deeper, you will find that it is an incredibly funny, quirky and marvelously entertaining piece of work designed for kids of all ages.

In a sandstorm of vampire literature, Fangs Rule is an oasis in the desert. One of the most interesting and highly original takes on the vampire theme. Ms Mah is definately one to watch out for. But beware, because she bites!

Charles E Butler

***

I love, love, love this cover. The colors are much more vibrant when you're holding the book in your hand than what you see in a picture.

Plot/Characters There's not much of a plot since it's an A-to-Z guide on being a vampire. The guide is smart, funny and educational ... no matter if you are a vampire or a human.

The guide is being told to you by the author herself, Amy Mah - a self-proclaimed vampire.

Overall Even though I have no inclination into becoming a vampire, I loved this book. I would recommend this to everyone ... whether you enjoy a quick, fun read or want to know more about being a vampire or you like quirky humor ... this book is for you.

=) MRShemery

***

This is not your typical vampire story. If you are expecting hunky male vampires, then you are in for a big surprise. You won't find vampires jumping in and out of every bed they pass. You won't find murder and mayhem. What you will find is a teenage vampires journal in which she is trying to set straight all of those not so true stories you read about vampires. Amy is also trying to make you understand what it is like being a teenage girl vampire.

***

Amy has written her own A to Z journal of everything you need to know about being a teenage female vampire in a human world. You will get all kinds of great information about everything and anything from fangs, biting, kissing, love, clothing, school, immortality and yes, there is a little about sex. Come on folks. Teens do know about sex whether you want them to or not. This is not an x-rated pornographic book. This is a light hearted, funny and sometimes silly account of being a teenage vampire. There are wonderful manga pictures throughout the book which were created by none other then Heby Sim. Layout and design was done by Nicholas Reardon. The book is printed like a teenager's journal so the writing is not your usual type print. It was presented like a teens writing; but I had absolutely no difficulty reading it. Throughout the book are cute little pics of bats, cats, ravens, and snakes. Each numbered page has bats on either side. It definitely adds to the affect of the book. I thoroughly enjoyed this light hearted read about vampires. I enjoyed so much; I read it in one sitting. I highly recommend this book if you are looking for something different and do not want heavy reading. I love vampire stories. Even though this was not your usual vampire setting, it was quite enjoyable and there is nothing wrong with this book for a young adult to read it. I venture they see and hear more sex on a television screen.   Well, there you have it. This book would make a great gift for any teenager. Try it. You will like it. I did.           

Eva J. Coppersmith ""vintage vixen""

***

i am totally impressed with this book....i brought it for my niece .... she is a teenage and totally into vampires.... i read it myself and found it very funny and quite interesting.....the author has a good sense of humor....which is what i loved most....plus all the live and colorfully illustrations....brings such dept to the imagination and life to the book.....i highly recommend this book....

Amazon

What is Wrong with Wearing Real Fur and Blood Diamonds?

What is Wrong with Wearing Real Fur and Blood Diamonds?

As I have said it many times you humans are an odd lot, ………

Just what is wrong with wearing real fur and blood diamonds? You are normally so keen on killing members of your own species why get so hot and bothered over killing animals to wear real fur …………like have you felt how soft mink is…………sigh………………

And as to blood diamonds if fashion models can forget even being given them ………forget being given diamonds !!!!! …….they must be over paid! ......... So why can't an author have some?  I would remember and even thank you afterwards…………  look send it with the mink coat and save on postage.

Do I wear animal skins? Of course I do !!!!

I have shoes and gloves made from Cows,…. er…………. Pigs, Goats, Crocodiles and Cows have died for my bag collection ………….. but it is ok to kill them as they do not look cute like a mink…………. Cute!!! The little blighters would take your fingers off given half a chance………….  And you eat the meat ………….. ok …just when has anyone eaten Crocodile? Er……Thought not.

A Vampire should dress well in smart clothes normally all tight black leather and expensive gems as the humans we attack appreciate being eaten by a well dressed vampire wearing 50k of diamonds.

Me? ............... Well I have to suffer hunting in jeans and a tee ………. Look do you know how hard it is to get blood out of a white tee? No? ……  well it is hard work !!!!   

And jeans may look cool but are not comfy when you get all bloated…………..

Why don’t guys suffer from getting bloated? Any girl can tell you the need to undo the top button on the jeans or live with the idea of the maker’s label being permanently embossed onto one tummy.

Undead vampire have it easy they live on just blood and adsorb it into the body where as being a living vamp after 7 – 8 pints of blood not only am I bloated but in desperate need to take a piss and do you care ……..heck no all you are interested in is going out trying to protect those darn finger eating mink !!!!

You remember people saying you can get a app for everything well take a look at this!!!
http://www.mydaily.co.uk/2011/05/10/iphone-app-iaugment-breast-enlargement/

Sex er cise ........... and having a healthy body

Sex  er cise   how to keep your body in prefect readiness for that special night out  

Now as you may know we Vamps have our own website ……… well it stops us having to talk with the food ……….. well it is off putting ……… you trying chatting to a cow then order a nice juicy steak  ……………..

Anyway ……………. What happens on our sites like FangBook and Fangpages ….mostly what happens on your human sites …….I’m a girl so the usual question is will you send me a pic of your boobs…………. Ok ok  ……..it is not always like that sometimes it is ……………I LOVE YOU !!!!! so will you please send me a photo of your boobs …………….

I blame breast feeding myself ….yes I do ……..something like that must have done something to a guys mind ………….

And as to questions guy ask like ……..…What are your boobs like?................  just how is that a question to ask a girl………. so to answer the question once and for all ……….

I have two ……….they are on my chest and mounted in the traditional horizontal way as they are side by side …………… and unless it is cold they do very little on their own …….. Surprisingly I can go for hours at the time forgetting they are even there.

My girlfriends all tell me this is very normal and they get the same questions and requests for photos……….. 

So my little story for to day which links to the video click at the bottom of the page …….yes….yes…yes………ho god yes……… you must see it…………… a new training program to lose weight in a very ..very..very …sexy way !!!!!!!!!!!

Going back to fangbook when guys show interest in me I normally ask them to prove it and this one guy did……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......... he sent me a photo of his best feature…………. HMG …….I am still blushing ……….. must be twice the size of any normal guy !!!!!! …………not that I am an expert you understand………. No please do not get me wrong size does not mater to a girl ………it is personality .er………a caring heart ………..or in my case a very large bank balance along with uncontrollable urges to give me expensive jewelry ………….

But when I told my girlfriends and they all demanded to see it ……………….. er…...only for interest you understand ………….that’s all ………….. ok………. And I was correct from the …………… sighs ……and screams……… and other exclamations which I wont go into here…………. It was bigger than any of them had ever seen before ……….not that that interests and girl you understand……….. but heck…………..he should now discover a sudden influx of girls asking to be his friend on Fangbook ……well he also has one hell of a cute butt……… 

Yes as a guy he has some of the largest FANGS I have even seen ………….. any girl would be happy if their boyfriend was so gifted in the fang department……

http://www.break.com/index/jimmy-kimmels-hottie-body-workout-2013856

…….yes….yes…yes………ho god yes……… you must see this lose weight in a very ..very..very …sexy way !!!!!!!!!!!

Before I forget anyone that has promised to do a book review, please contact my publisher  Reardon Publishing:  email:  Reardon@bigfoot.conm  and check it you are on the mailing list

Eva's Sanctuary: Guest Post with Author Amy Mah Vampire

Eva's Sanctuary: Guest Post with Author Amy Mah Vampire: "It is with a great deal of pleasure that I am having author, Amy Mah vampire on my blog today. This young vampire holds a place very near an..."


More about this book........click here

Sexy clothing on my cute vampire body

Sexy clothing on my cute vampire body

Hi spring is here ………….so ……….all good vampire girls take a look inside the wardrobes to see what can look good when the weather gets better for an innocent (cough, cough ) walk in the night air.…………so having a look at my bullet proof vest ……or should I use the correct term Body armour………...yes of course I have one !!!!! …….silly!...............a girl has got to be prepared hasn’t she………….

No it is not like the big things you see on TV that say CNN along with the words Press on them in large letter just so people from Fox News know who to shoot at……(a joke before they sue me) …. When they say they fight for the stories it is True!!

The press ones look so thick they could stop a tank shell and makes the reporter look fat ……..they come in media camouflage colours which means Black with large letters in white saying TV ………..PRESS ……………..  So if a rival new company does not get you then it will be the government troops or rebel forces that will. 

Mine is unisex and I got it before I found out about wearing sexy Helsing underwear ………….. er……….. Want to know about my underwear?  ……….hhehehehehe    …………. Then you should have read my book! …..some of it is illustrated ….heheheehehe

It is unisex and white and fits under the clothes ……….. White …..ok so its brilliant white… my idea is that you can take it off and wave it to surrender ………but no they say it is to make it not noticeable ! ..NOT NOTICEABLE !!!!  well if you were wearing an overcoat then maybe ……….. but it is big thick and flattens ones boobs, not hard to do in my case but still, so extremely flattening but not in a nice way   ………….. It is held on with Velcro’s straps and buckles, the inner layer is breathable with lots of holes to stop one sweating in it………….

Sorry my Aunt always says girls do not sweat ………….. Horses sweat ………Men perspire and Women glow……………. So when I try it on in the summer I am glowing like a Horse………….. er………………the armour plating comes out via zip pockets and you can wash the jacket on a low setting if it gets too smelly.

And just because it says Designed for Comfort on it does not mean it is ……and besides if I wanted something designed for comfort it would be a bra and not body armour!……to put it on it goes over the head and the straps tie it together …………….ok  ok .so once it is on its ok…………. It’s just that I no longer look like a girl …if I was a little flat before…..I am now very FLAT …far flatter than any sports bra and without the advantage of looking like you are at least trying to get fit.

FBI agents may be able to put a jacket over it but I suggest a jumper that way you can try and put a tissue stuffed bra over it to give you back some sort of famine shape………….. er………. it is heavy ……… the weight is taken by the shoulders but it is still heavy .

I am told it is good against knife attacks and can take up to a 9mm bullet………. Huh as it I’m going to test it out by standing anywhere some is shooting at me ! …………… it may not be comfy but heck you try sticking a stake in me and you will soon discover that this girl is one smart cookie ………………

Humans are so stupid at times ………look we have seen all the horror films just like you have …………..and we know about how you want to kill us …………..

Hell he will have one silly look on his face after trying to stake me! …………..

er………well not for long as the mention of stake always makes me hungry…………..and ho just look I have now found my evening meal standing in front of me with a blunt stake and a silly look!

…………………. Human = Stupid ………………..

Want to see Panties with bite?
then look at this:.

http://www.myspace.com/avelinademoray/photos/19712545#%7B"ImageId":19712545%7D

http://a3.l3-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/118/860c06a6ff7d409eae632c7bffed09bd/l.jpg

Clicj here for details:   http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Cute little Vampire girls being bitten.. Amy Mah Vampire

Cute little Vampire girls being bitten

I never know when I start writing what will turn up on the page so lets start…………..

May as well get down to basics today  ……….something ……basic……. Well…

I was just chatting to a cute little vamp on FangBook today and she was complaining that her master hurts when he bites her.

So I told her to stop complaining as he is only showing his love to you …..And it is very normal for a male to get a little carried away as they are not too bright when it comes to romance and foreplay …………..

You in turn must also show you care for him ………..the best way is for him to be able to remember you when he is away from the nest so he should always have something personal of yours with him ………….. perhaps some old panties you were just putting our to wash ………put these in the top pocket of his suit ..Instead of a handkerchief …….so at meeting when he take it out he will remember you …

And as you remember his loving bites it goes without saying you should always piss in and over all his shoes, that way it should bring back to him happy memories of biting you the night before.

No of course he won’t mind as you are only showing him you care, and if he cares for you then he will not mind others knowing you have marked him.

If he does complain then it may mean the he does not wish other females to know he has been marked …………….. He may even try and clean your scent off  ……this is rude of him, yes! Extremely rude !………

………… in which case you are in your rights to remark him  ………..I suggest with something heavy and possibly made of lead …………… the normal time for this is just as he is dropping off to sleep …………….. this can be done several times during the night or over several night.

I find the nights best to do this are the ones when you are visiting your parents ………….

As your loving Male can see how fond your parents are of each other ……and how they make such a fine marriage……….. the funny little comments your Daddy makes over dinner……………….. Always the same but still funny …………… “If you ever make my little girl unhappy I will rip your balls off and then force you to eat them!”………..   

Ho how we all laugh at that …………… along with how he staked my first boyfriend …..for putting his hand up my skirt……… hehehe ………….. And my cousin with the roving hands has never walked the same after Daddy had a little word with him…………… and he also does quite well having just one arm…..ho I do so love visiting my folks……….

If you like my writing take a look at my book: .Fangs Rule

If you like my writing take a look at my book: .Fangs Rule     http://www.fangsrule.com

And take a look at this new vamp book out it is great >>>>>>>>>>>..

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004LB4UMS

Naked vampires having sex and doing rude things together is (not) what my blog is about.

Naked vampires having sex and doing rude things together is (not) what my blog is about.

Well just got in my book trailer film clip for my book and it looks great it is now on youtube and I am trying to get it seen around the world…….I have found out that just putting fangs rule in youtube finds me!

Famous !!!!!!!!! yeeeeeeeeeee

Wooooooooooooooooooooow this is so exciting there is even a nude shot of me in the film clip …….hehehe………. but you will have to look hard to find it!

The finishing touches to my book are now being made and ……………well …………… I’m just sooooooo …..yes I said it before but I am………………

HMG …….I’m going to have to visit the bathroom again soon so to finish  ……………. March I am told it will be March when it will be out and about ………but to go on we have a film clip………..

Amy

All men like looking up girl’s skirts, just why do Japanese make a film industry out of it?

All men like looking up girl’s skirts, just why do Japanese make a film industry out of it?

I am looking at P for Panties in my book FANGS RULE a girls guide to being a Vampire but have got a little carried away thinking about it ………

Japanese anime girls are famous for showing off their underwear and for having larger boobs than real Japanese girls!  Look guys real girls would have trouble even standing up if they were like the girls in the film Divergence Eve, heck they could take someone’s eye out when they turn around!

Divergence Eve click here http://www.blogger.com/goog_1245692773

I am already a little sensitive with my bust size without seeing this sort of thing!

Najica Blitz Tactics and this is for children! click here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_ZMmpd7CFs

I like anime films and watch a lot and there is a lot of dark stuff suitable for a vampire of taste just think of Elfen Lied

Going back to Japanese men and panty shots has anyone seen NAJICA Blitz Tactics, I will try to attach a youtube trailer and  ………….

Ok a competition the first person to tell me the correct number of pantie shots visible in this trailer for the film will win a free copy of my book FANGS RULE a girls guide to being a Vampire !!!

OK go and have fun guys ………………….

………………….. I mean it please explain why Japanese men are so into girls panties?

D for date in my Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to being a vampire

D for date in my Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to being a vampire

Going out on a date.

Yes we all go thought the same difficulties of what to wear, the wardrobe will not shut but I still do not have anything suitable, so after hours of searching in the end I decide to wear black as it will match my comfy shoes, ok so I have more shoes than a dictators wife but only one comfy pair and they are black, why comfy shoes? Well I have no idea where we are going so what the heck should I wear!

Now comes the date bag, why can’t a girl just go out, and when I say a girl I mean me, why do I have to look like I’m going for a 10 day vacation and not just a night out.

So lets open the date bag and check if everything is there.

1.  Cell phone fully charged.

2.  Spare cash and credit card.

3.  Packet of mints for after eating smelly food

4.  Chap stick

5.  Make up mirror, why take a mirror you ask, er wellllll if I get ship wreaked I can use it to signal for help, look it is just needed ok!

6.  Packet of tissues just in case you can not find a washroom when out. 

7. Keys large bunch and no I do not know why luggage keys are on the same ring with my house keys.

8.  A spare pair of panties in case I sleep over ……… er not that I am planning to sleep over … er forget it ok! Look I said stop giggling and forget it !!!!

9.   Precautions and protection, nowadays it is not just a boys reasonability for protection and so a girl should also take her own protection if needed, personally I take a can of Mace and a 10 inch kitchen knife and if that fails I sink my teeth into the neck!  

Big beds containing naked vampires in old castles

Naked vampires

OK lets get this clear it is only the turned female vampires (ex-humans and now undead) Hollywood style that have perfect boobs and like to go around wearing a thin see-through nightdress with no panties.

Normal full bloods like me……. well we like to wear clothing and with how cold the caves are thick clothing!

Which could only be deemed see-through if you have x-ray vision!  

So the idea of beds containing naked vampires in old castles is only for the movies, er.......... they are like very cold in winter! I have checked with my family and the only vampire I know that wears a night shirt for sleeping is my Uncle, his sister my Aunt wears more in bed than see does during the day including a layer of cats which join her in bed!

My boyfriend Max says he only wears a smile in bed and I can come and check anytime !

But his sister my bestie friend Ice says he wears a smelly old Tee and shorts which their Mom has threatened to burn if he forgets to put out to wash again.

She, that is Ice and not her Mom wears a top and shorts in bed, myself if anyone is interested I wear PJs and in winter flannelette ones and also keep my underwear on as my bedroom is cold, unless Bambi my maid sleeps with me, then we can cuddy up together.

Look ! just because you sleep with a girl does not make you a leasbian, sometimes it just means the central heating needs fixing!

Ho yes I do tell Max (boyfriend) that I always sleep in the nude ……. hehehe .....as it will give him something to dream about !!!!

Just had a lovly book review ....just click on the video clip below:

See more book details here :  http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Read this: Murder in Vein: A Fang-in-Cheek Mystery by Sue Ann Jaffarian plus my interview

I interviewed one of my favorite writers, mystery author Sue Ann Jaffarian, for She Writes; click to read her answers to these questions:

1. You write three mystery series (Odelia Gray, Ghost of Granny Apples and Fang-in-Cheek) and hold a full-time paralegal job. How do you juggle writing and having a day job, and keep track of so many protagonists?

2. All three series feature amateur, accidental and/or reluctant detectives, and fall under the category of cozy mysteries. What do you like best about writing cozy mysteries and what drew you to this type of mystery?

3. Your latest book, Murder in Vein, finds waitress and student Madison Rose suddenly at the mercy of some kindhearted vampires who take her in after she’s almost murdered. The book also pokes fun at the vampire craze, featuring people who desperately want to become vampires to the point of committing crimes. What do you think of people who call themselves vampires, and did you do any fun research for this book?

4. Location is very important to each of your series, whether it’s Los Angeles or Julian, California, for Ghost a La Mode or varying locations, like a corn maze, for Odelia Gray, yet it’s something that can get overlooked, especially with such twisting and turning plots you come up with. How do you see the role of place in your books, and do you have a favorite setting of the ones you’ve written about?

5. Odelia Gray is a feisty, plus-size amateur sleuth who’s often forging ahead in her investigations even when she’s been warned by those who love her to lay low. You’ve been lauded for her portrayal of women of size by the likes of actress Camryn Manheim and others. How do Odelia’s size and her personality intersect, and do you see Odelia as a role model?

Also check out her blog, where I got these images from:





Here's my review of her new vampire mystery Murder in Vein: A Fang-in-Cheek Mystery from Amazon:

I'm a fan of Sue Ann Jaffarian's other mystery series, but don't tend to read vampire stories so wasn't sure what I would think, but I loved this whodunnit, which delves into the world of vampires and vampire envy. Madison Rose finds herself shocked to discover that vampires are real, and that she almost died because of them. She goes to live with her new vampire "grandparents," who wind up becoming the only family she has, only to become the target of those who think if they kill her, they are on the fast track to permanent (as opposed to retractable) fangs. Jaffarian sends up vampire envy while introducing a whole new cast of characters, including a vampire council, with her own twist on the genre. She manages to make this a believable world, as she did with Ghost a la Mode, and Madison is an engaging heroine who is by turns wary and curious about the undercover community that takes her in. If you're a Jaffarian fan, you'll definitely want to check this out, and if you're a newcomer to her work, you'll enjoy the sly humor as well as the covens, clubs and coffins that populate Murder in Vein.